Socks

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Chapter Ten: Time To Wake Up
by Abree
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It was the first time since Lassie died that he woke to someone nuzzling his neck.

Brian's eyelids slowly slid open and he smiled faintly at the memory. Lassie was a collie. Whenever he met great wits who would guffaw "What'd you name her - Lassie?" he would smile politely and say "Why, yes" and gloat at their double-take.

His smile darkned. He had loved Lassie til the day she died, run over by some Communist slimeball. He had mourned for days until his coworkers called him up and gently reminded him that he still had to show up for work regularly.

Alex moved his head closer, his hair tickling Brian's neck. *Now look at me,* Brian thought. *I'm being nuzzled by the Communist slimeball.*

Alex's lips parted and he began to suck gently on Brian's neck. All thoughts of Lassie and her Communist murderer flew out of his head and Brian closed his eyes.

The world could wait for another hour.

*****

As is usually the case under such cirumstances, the beavers got there first.

They had been paddling furiously for hours, heedless of the freezing water and the trecherous animals lurking below the surface. Blimps, planes, and canoes were no match to their undying strength. Their collective goal was set and not even 37 hungry tiger sharks were going to change their minds.

Their paws touched shore just as the sun rose high enough to touch the water. Wet, exhausted, and significantly chewed, they gathered for a conference on the shore.

*They'll still be there at noon,* they decided before taking a well-deserved nap.

*****

Alex Krycek was having a wonderful dream.

He was in a small, well-furnished cabin on a completely isolated island. He was laying in a warm bed, curled up against Brian Pendrell.

*Whatever I ate last night, I'm having it every night!* Alex mentally declared.

The rays of the midday sun peeked through the windows, casting a healthy orange glow across the room. Alex smiled and pulled the comforter around them tightly. He nestled his head in the gentle curve of Brian's neck and kissed him softly.

A fly buzzed into the room through a tear in the window screen. It landed on the ground and was immediately skewered by a razor-sharp heel.

Alex slid his arm around Brian's waist and placed another kiss under his ear. For a moment, he paused and thanked the good Lord for IBM's success.

A touch slowly registered in his mind. He felt the pad of a soft fingertip resting against the small of his back, and for a moment he was confused. The touch was light, yet real. Too real to be a dream. But wasn't this...?

The fingernail accompanying the finger swiftly drove itself into his back. He yelped in pain but didn't move as he felt a hiss of a warm breath on his ear.

"Where are your beaver friends now?" Martine whispered.

"I kinda hoped they were in Russia feasting on your rotting carcass," Alex growled.

She sniffed and pulled out a long leather whip. "Well, a few taps from Susie here and they learned who's boss."

Alex gaped. "You named your whip?"

Martine smirked. Susie sailed through the air and caught Alex on the small of his back with a resounding crack.

"Yep."

*****

The beavers slept peacefully - all but one.

One beaver - his name was nothing more than a series of excited chirps - sat awake, nursing his wounded paw. He had had a personal visit with Susie that left his paw split wide open, nothing fatal, but extremely painful.

Despite the pain, hours of swimming and fighting the current were beginning to take their toll. He began to doze, the pain fading as his eyes began to droop.

From off in the distance, he heard a faint sound. The swift, hissing crack of a whip.

The pain in his paw jolted back to life. He began to shiver uncontrollably and managed to croak out the beaver equivilant of a scream.

No one stirred. He heard the sound again, accompanied by a howl. The pain jolted insistantly in his paw. He cleared his throat and gave the beaver equivilant of a howl.

No one stirred. He sighed, rolled over, and planted a swift kick in the stomach of the beaver next to him.

This beaver - his name was quite similar to the first beaver, only with more emphasis on the third syllable - rolled over sleepily. *What?* he chirped, annoyed.

*Susie,* the first beaver growled ominously.

The stirring caused the ground to tremble.

*****

Alex winced at Martine's shrill giggle. The pain in his back was a tiny bit short of excruciating, and the pain in his ears was that and beyond. Brian was still sound asleep, a feat Alex envied.

Martine raised Susie again, paused, and lowered her. "So, dearest Alex, I suppose this is the end."

"The end?"

Martine shrugged. "Well, you're no good to me alive. You and your - " She wrinkled her nose distastefully. " - socks."

Alex glanced at her stiletto heels nervously. "And those are a million times better, right?"

Martine glanced down. "Well, they don't have the comfort of the moccasins, but the illusion of height they give me is certain - " Her eyes narrowed. "What am I talking about this with YOU for?" She raised Susie over her head.

The entire left half of her body suddenly dropped three inches. Two seconds later, the right half joined her.

"What the - " she began, lowering Susie for a brief moment.

A flurry of excited chirps, chitters and growls filled the room. Martine shrieked as the vengeful beavers attatcked, gnawing Susie into little pieces and chomping down on her heels.

The combination of the beaver noises and Martine's over-dramatic screams finally penetrated Brian's mind. He mumbled something and started to roll over to face the commotion.

Alex quickly threw the comforter over their heads to obscure his view. "What's goi - " Brian muttered.

Alex moved forward and kissed him soundly on the lips. "Shut up and go back to sleep," he whispered.

"Mmmm-hmmm," Brian murmured pleasantly. He rolled back over and began to snore lightly.

Alex waited a few moments. Martine's shrieks had stopped and the chirps had turned into a low murmur.

Hesitantly, he pulled the comforter down. He glanced at the 100 or so beavers on the floor. They had all gathered around two beavers in the center who were talking in excited chirps.

"Um...Martine?" he called, looking up to make sure she wasn't hovering in the rafters. "Martine?"

The beavers in the center finished speaking with a triumphant chatter and the crowd began to stream out through a hole they had gnawed in the door.

"Martine?" he tried again.

"Right here, you fool," the smaller beaver in the middle said.

Alex's jaw gave in to gravity and hung limply from his face. "Martine? You're a...a..."

"A beaver," Martine supplied. "Turns out that I impressed these guys so much they want me for the queen. No surprise there."

Alex's mind attempted to make sense of that and, not surprisingly, failed.

"But - you're a beaver," he repeated.

Martine shrugged, a very odd gesture in her current form. "Beats being a salamander."

Alex's mind wisely advised him to ignore that. "So - that's it? You're the queen of the pack? No more hunting down me and Brian like some sort of starved dog?"

She sniffed. "Brian's cute, but he's got nothing on Sha'chitatita'lae here." She coyly wrapped her tail around the beaver next to her.

*She's going,* Alex's mind pointed out. *Just say goodbye nicely and let her go.*

The last of the beavers cleared out. Martine and her oddly-named mate sauntered towards the door.

"Goodbye, Alex," she said, not bothering to turn around. "Have fun with your - socks."

They left. The sudden stillness of the morning once again flooded the room.

*Just the two of us.*

Alex yawned and sank back into the bed. His eyes slowly fluttered shut.

*Thank God that's over with...*

*****

The sound of a gunshot split into the silence.

Brian jolted awake. After a moment of silence, the sounds of voices and screams erupted from the distance.

Next to him, Alex was sound asleep. "You'll sleep through anything, won't you?" Brian whispered.

The voices grew louder. Brian was reluctant to get out of bed, so he sat up and listened carefully.

Snippets of conversation floated through a hole in the door - though he didn't remember the door having a hole last night...

" - my fault he - about the damned - vie!"

"You didn't - shoot - over it!"

"Quiet, both of you!"

Brian jumped. He recognized that voice. "Skinner?" he whispered quietly.

Sure enough, the A.D's head popped through the hole in the door. "Pendrell!" he growled. He stood back up and opened the door.

*Maybe I should hide under the covers,* Brian panicked. *If I can't see them, they can't see me...right?*

Skinner threw open the door. He strode in, taking in the scene before him. Scully walked in next, a self-satisfied smirk on her face while Mulder stumbled in after her.

"Pendrell!" Skinner barked. "Just what in the hell do you think you're doing?"

Brian looked around. "Sitting, sir?"

"You're in bed with a fugitive, Agent Pendrell! What do you have to say about that?"

"Oh, that. Er, well, it was cold last night, and the cabin only had the one bed, so we...decided to share," Brian finished lamely.

The three stared at him. "Oh, come on!" Brian said defensively. "I'm sure you must've found yourself in a situation like this before!"

Skinner glanced at Mulder and Scully, who were examining the rafters with intense fascination. "Anyway," Brian continued, feeling a surge of power, "what was all the screaming outside about?"

"That doesn't concern you," Skinner growled.

"She SHOT at me!" Mulder complained.

"If you hadn't been whining for the past half hour I wouldn't have shot you!" Scully's hand was inching toward her gun again.

"Like it was my fault they decided to show "Snow White and the Seven Dwarves" as the in-flight movie!"

"You didn't have to bitch about it the entire way over!"

Brian snuck a glance at Alex. He hadn't stirred. *How can you SLEEP through this?* Brian thought.

"QUIET!" Skinner hollered. Mulder and Scully retreated into sullen silences. "Now," he continued. "I'm sick of hearing the two of you bicker like children. Go out into the woods and make up."

*Maybe I'm dreaming,* Brian thought desperately, sinking down under the covers.

"Exucse me, sir?" Scully asked.

Skinner pulled out his gun and aimed it at her skull. "I said, Agent Scully, go out into the woods and make up."

Mulder and Scully walked very carefully out of the cabin. Brian half-expected to hear gunshots, but the woods were strangely silent.

"Now." Skinner yanked the covers off of the pair. Alex serenely slept on.

"Wha - what exactly did you come here for?" Brian asked nervously.

"Oh, just a simple arrest. Destruction of Disneyland property, consorting with a felon, resisting arrest."

"What about Alex?"

Skinner shrugged. "It would be a hassle to send him to court for all the things he's done, so we figured we just haul off and shoot him here." He aimed the gun at Alex's midsection.

"Sir?" Scully peered through the hole in the door.

Skinner sighed irritably. "You two made up already?"

"Never mind that, sir. The, ah, plane's just been attacked by a pack of beavers."

"What?" Skinner swung the gun off Alex. Brian breathed a sigh of relief.

"They just pushed it into the ocean. The pilot says there's no way to fix it."

"Then how the hell are we going to get off this damned island?"

Mulder joined Scully by the door. "Well, there's this gigantic blimp landing downshore. I figure we can hitch a ride with them."

Brian slowly pulled the covers over his head and closed his eyes tightly. *God, that can only mean - *

"Where is he?" a heavily accented voice interrupted them.

The level of tension in the room skyrocketed. "Is that a real Uzi?" Brian heard Mulder ask tentatively.

*Uh-oh...*

"As a matter of fact, yes. I plan to use it on Alex Krycek's fragile skull the moment I see him."

"And who exactly are you?" Skinner asked.

There was a dramatic pause. Brian squirmed and prayed for an earthquake.

"My name," he said, "is Doris."

The grave tone he said it in made it sound all the more ridiculous. Both Mulder and Scully began to snicker and Skinner himself gave two very unconvincing coughs to muffle his laughter.

*Now we're in for it!* Brian wrapped his arms around Alex and braced himself.

The Uzi blast made a nice chunk in the wall directly opposite Skinner's head. A hushed silence filled the room.

"Tell me," Doris said stiffly. "Have any of you ever been a patron at the Chicken Kiev?"

Alex muttered something in his sleep but didn't wake.

"No," Scully said after a long moment of silence.

"Then, by all means...you must try it."

Another Uzi blast sent the three scurrying for the blimp. Brian peeked out gingerly, watching through the hole in the door as several familiar burly guards herded the three into the blimp.

After a painfully long moment, the blimp rose into the air and glided away.

The sun was beginning to set, but Brian felt like he'd been awake since dawn. He yawned and settled back into the bed.

*Thank God that's over with...*

*****

It was around midnight when they both woke up.

The night was unusually cold and the addition of three holes in the cabin's structure wasn't helping any. They both woke slowly, gradually becoming aware of where they were.

Alex glanced at the hole in the wall uneasily, then turned back to Brian. "Good morning."

"Good evening," Brian corrected with a smile.

"So," Alex said after a moment. "We're alone."

"Uh-huh."

Brian felt a sock-clad foot rub against his ankle.

"Let's hope it stays that way."

****

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