Title: Ersatz Author: Pollyanna E-mail address: 100257.1177@compuserve.com Cert: NC-17, contains description of homosexual sex Summary: Pendrell and Frohike find that reality can be better than dreams Disclaimer: The characters and situations of the television program "The X Files" are the creations and property of Chris Carter, Fox Broadcasting, and Ten-Thirteen Productions, and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended. Notes: WARNING - A Pendrell/Frohike slash story ! I would like to blame Sue for this combination, but it started off as my idea. My excuse is that I only meant it as a joke and she talked me into it !! For some reason my usual beta reader Spooky wanted NO part of this so I would like to extend a warm Thank You and a year's supply of anti-nausea tablets to Iain and Carol. Feedback: If you feel generous enough to offer some feedback then send a note to 100257.1177@compuserve.com Ersatz by Pollyanna = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = Pendrell saw him first in the hospital. A short, creased frog of a man clutching a bunch of flowers like a shield before him. He looked awkward in his ancient suit, and a blemish on the sterile corridors. Only the devotion in his eyes as he gazed at the pale figure, lying so still and small in the bed, made him seem a fitting visitor. Pendrell was feeling out of place himself. He had known Agents Scully and Mulder only by reputation - Mr. and Mrs. Spooky hidden away in their basement. He still did not know exactly what part Alex had taken in Agent Scully's abduction, but the rumours at the office and his own knowledge of Alex had made it clear who was to blame. Since Alex had disappeared three months earlier, Pendrell had been living in limbo; unable to believe that he had been so taken in by his beautiful lover. He continued to slip into the office going through the motions of doing his job, but feeling so guilty that he had considered resigning. He stayed, hoping he might be of some use to Agent Mulder in his search, or perhaps one day Alex would walk back through the door and it would all turn out to have been some terrible mistake. When the news went round headquarters that Agent Scully had been returned, he had been driven to come and see for himself. As he stood in the hospital he realised that Alex was never coming back. It was time to start living again, to find someone worthy to love, who needed him. He looked at the tiny, helpless figure of Agent Scully and felt a great protectiveness and tenderness for her. The same tenderness he saw in the eyes of the stranger. = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = Frohike saw him first in an airport concourse. Several months had passed since Scully had recovered, and she and Mulder had comfortably fallen back into the routine of their unroutine cases. They were flying off to Idaho and Mulder had needed some obscure information from the Lone Gunmen. Frohike had jumped at the chance to get close to Agent Scully. He had delivered the file, basking in Scully's smile as she nodded in gratitude. Mulder grabbed the file and rifled through it for the photograph he wanted to show Scully. "Thanks, Frohike. Don't you have to be somewhere else?" "Nope. Surely you want my expert opinion, Mulder?" "Frohike. Scram!" Frohike gathered his dignity around him and withdrew into the crowds. He stood behind a nearby pillar, out of their line of sight, watching Scully arguing animatedly with Mulder. Suddenly another man hurried up to them, to be greeted with a smile by Scully. He bristled immediately at the sight of another man receiving one of those rare smiles. Mulder was accepted and was in fact inevitable but anyone else was a rival to be driven from the field. The man and Scully stood in a patch of sunlight which reflected off their red hair. Red hair? Perhaps it was a brother, Frohike knew she had two. Then the stranger handed over a folder and Scully said a few words to him and he nodded, grinning shyly and blushing. An announcement came over the PA, and Scully tapped Mulder's arm with the file to get his attention and gestured towards the gates. They walked forward, Mulder leaning down to catch something Scully was saying, leaving the stranger standing in the sunlight. The way he stood there, gazing at the departing figures, neither of whom spared a backwards glance, Frohike knew he was looking at a fellow sufferer. = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = The first time they met was outside Scully's apartment. Pendrell had been waiting at the coffee machine when the story of The Spookies' latest exploits had come up. It seemed that this time Scully had nearly been killed on one of Mulder's bug-eyed monster expeditions. Pendrell had found out the time of their flight back and headed for Scully's place so he could see for himself that she was OK. Now he stood on the opposite side of the road, in the shadows but at the edge of the light, as close as he could get without being seen. He was intent on the view opposite so was completely taken by surprise when a hand suddenly yanked him further back into the darkness. "What ... ?" "They're gonna see you," a voice hissed. "Who? And who are you?" The hand had let go of him now, and he was just able to make out a short figure in the darkness. "Them. Shhh!" Pendrell's regard followed a shadowy arm which was pointing towards the road where a car was pulling up in front of Scully's front door. He and the stranger were too far away to hear the discussion as Mulder and Scully got out and walked to her door. = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = "So, Scully, you want I should come and tuck you in?" drawled Mulder. "I'm a big girl, Mulder. I can manage for myself." They walked to the door and she unlocked it and then reached inside to turn on the lights. A sudden glow spilled out of the door, backlighting the two figures standing close in the porch. Scully turned to shoo Mulder home, and then saw that although he was still smiling lazily, his eyes were tight with worry. She laid a hand on his forearm. "I'm fine, Mulder." "You almost got killed." "But I didn't, and I'm fine - not even a scratch. Now, go home, and let me get to bed." Mulder leant forward and gently kissed her forehead. "Good night, Jim Bob." Scully tugged on his tie until he was leaning down again, and then brushed her lips across his forehead. "Good night, John Boy." She watched as he went back to the car and drove off. Then, shaking her head, went inside and closed the door, unaware of the two in the shadows opposite. = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = Pendrell sighed, which was echoed by the stranger. "Well, at least he didn't stay the night. By the way, I'm Frohike, a friend of Mulder's." Pendrell peered into the darkness trying to make out features - there was something familiar about this figure. Then he realised the stranger had just told him his name, and he started to introduce himself, "I'm Special Agent ..." "Pendrell. Yes, I know. You used to be friends with that rat-bastard Krycek." Pendrell's jaw dropped. "I make it my business to know everything about anything that involves the lovely Agent Scully. And if I didn't know you'd do anything for her, you'd be out of the FBI and washing test-tubes in a sperm donor clinic about now." Pendrell drew himself up and said stiffly, "I could ask what you're doing here." Frohike sighed and looked at the building where the lights went out as Scully moved to the back of her apartment. "Howling for the moon." Pendrell deflated as he recognised the note of longing in the voice, "You lov ... have feelings for Scully too?" "Yeah, but she's never gonna look at me that way." "Me neither." They stood in companionable silence for a while, and then Pendrell spoke hesitantly. "You want to go for a drink? I know a quiet bar." = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = Pendrell had found them a booth in a corner and then gone off to get their first drinks. Frohike played with a coaster and looked idly round. It took a while for it to register with Frohike, but all the clients of the bar were male. This, in itself, would not have struck him as too peculiar - after all, some of the bars he frequented, no sane woman would have entered. But in this bar some of the men were sitting very close to each other, holding hands across a table. When he saw a couple lean towards each other and exchange a long, involved kiss he suddenly realised just where he had ended up. As Pendrell returned with a couple of beers, he spoke. "Um, Pendrell, do you realise this is a gay bar?" "Yes," replied Pendrell unconcernedly and then looked again at Frohike who seemed to be blushing in the dim light. "I thought you realised when you said about Krycek ..." "Krycek? Oh! You mean when you were friends you weren't just ..." "No," Pendrell grinned. "So you don't know everything. Does this bother you? We can go somewhere else if it does?" "No. It's OK. No problem. I'm cool. So. I guess we ought to be on first name terms. It might seem a little strange otherwise." Pendrell managed to keep a straight face at Frohike's desperate attempts to appear unfazed by his surroundings. "You're probably right. I'm Brian - unfortunately." "Don't worry. I can do worse that that, I'm Melvin." "Parents, huh?" "Yeah, they never realise you're gonna grow up. To parents!" and Frohike clicked his glass against Pendrell's. And then they settled in to get seriously drunk. = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = "The very first time I saw her, my very first words to her. No, not even to her, but about her while she was standing there, were 'She's hot' " Frohike rested his head on his forearms as he remembered. Pendrell patted his arm comfortingly. "I can do worse than that. I did some stuff for her, in the lab, you know, and she said 'Well done, keep up the good work' and you know what I said." "No," said Frohike raising his head and peering blearily. " 'Keep it up yourself.' " "That was bad." "With a capital B. I was a complete doof." "Doof? Good word. Must remember that," then Frohike grinned inanely and pointed at Pendrell. "The Doof Fairy." Pendrell took his hand away from Frohike's arm and sat back frowning at the insult. Frohike was chuckling to himself, but then saw Pendrell's expression and stopped. "Sorry, Brian. Guess I just haven't got any better at keeping my big mouth shut." "S'OK, Melvin. You're drunk. I am too," Pendrell giggled as if he has just discovered the best joke ever. "Doof fairy - you know that's not bad. I'm glad Alex didn't think of it, he'd never have let me hear the end of it. To doofs!" They waved their glasses about, but after five seconds of failing to connect, gave up and swallowed anyway. "You know, Brian. I can't quite figure this. How can you fancy Agent Scully if you fancied Krycek?" Pendrell considered carefully, and then beamed a dazzling smile at Frohike. "I guess I just love people." "That's nice. That's very nice. To people!" This time the glasses came together with a great chink that caused the couples nearest them to look round. Pendrell shushed Frohike loudly and they sat in silence for a couple of minutes until the waiter dropped off a couple more beers. Then Frohike spoke, "We haven't either of us got a chance." "With Agent Scully?" "Yeah. Mulder." "Mulder. Yeah." "Not that he isn't a great guy, and he's a peculiar friend of mine." Pendrell's brow wrinkled in concentration. "Don't you mean particular?" "Probably. Anyway he's a great guy. Decent, brave, a little paranoid but that can be good. To Mulder!" Pendrell raised his glass reluctantly and then his eyes went wide. "Alex!" Frohike followed where he was looking and saw a figure leaning on the bar dressed in a leather jacket. Pendrell rose to his feet and began to weave his way to the bar, knocking into people as he went. The figure turned round to see what the commotion was and Frohike saw the darkly handsome features of Alex Krycek. Krycek cursed as he saw Pendrell and then ran towards the back door. Pendrell, with some difficulty managed to change direction and follow him. 'Oh, shit!' thought Frohike as he threw some dollars on the table and chased after them. He had no illusions that he would be much help to Pendrell against a hardened killer but at the same time he could not leave Pendrell to face him alone. He gingerly opened the door leading into the alley and poked his head around the edge. It looked pitch-black and he peered to and fro trying to make out anything. He carefully stepped from behind the cover of the door, listening for any noise, and then he stumbled over something on the ground. His heart stopped for a moment and then restarted with a burst of relief as a groan in a voice he recognised came from the huddled figure he had tripped over. "Brian! Is that you ? Are you all right? Did he shoot you? Stab you?" "No, he just punched me." "OK, sit up now. Can you stand?" "I guess so." Frohike braced himself and heaved Pendrell to his feet. He saw a suspicious shine on Pendrell's cheeks and busied himself with looking at the floor. "Did you drop anything in the fight, Brian?" "No. And it wasn't a fight, he just waited for me and hit me once when I came out the door." Frohike felt a confusing mixture of compassion and anger. "The bastard! You're better off without him. Some lover he turned out to be." Pendrell's voice was hard and bitter when he replied, "He wasn't my lover. I thought he was, but we were just ... fuck-buddies." He became aware of Frohike looking at him and asked, "What?" "It's just ... what you said. Doesn't seem like you." "Not very nice?" Pendrell's voice had a small thread of laughter underlying the bitterness. "Exactly! Now, let's get you home." Frohike's voice was all practicality and he draped one of Pendrell's arms over his shoulder. "I don't live far. It's this way." = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = It took them five minutes to unlock the door to Pendrell's apartment. With that singular stubbornness shown by all inanimate objects when faced with drunks, the lock and the key refused to align. First, Pendrell tried, and then Frohike took the key and he tried but with no success. It was only when Frohike grasped the handle to hold the door still while Pendrell crept up and took the lock by surprise that they managed to get in. Exhausted by their efforts they both collapsed on the couch, but after a few minutes Pendrell stood up and tugged Frohike to his feet. "We've got to drink some water - lots of water." "Why?" "So we don't get hangovers in the morning." "That works?" "It used to at college. Mind you, I never drank as much as this at college." Frohike followed Pendrell into the small kitchen and obediently drank the three glasses of water that Pendrell offered him. Pendrell was on auto-pilot by then and would have happily kept on offering him water all night, but Frohike managed to stop him. "I think three will be enough. I'll call a cab and go home now." "You can stay here tonight if you don't mind sharing." Frohike thought for a moment, and wondered if he could even get a cab at that time of night. "OK. Where's the bed." "No bed. The couch pulls out." They went back to the living room and Frohike picked up and carried cushions under Pendrell's directions. Then with a flourish that almost landed him flat on his back on the floor, Pendrell tugged at the innards of the couch and it sprang upwards. He continued tugging and unfolding until all the bed was out, taking up most of the standing room. Frohike gaped. "That is the biggest sofa-bed I have ever seen." Pendrell grinned with embarrassment. "My parents bought it for me." "Parents, huh." "Yeah. Always embarrassing you. They just never realised the size of apartment I could afford on my salary. But it is very comfortable. There are pillows in that box over there." The sheets were just as recalcitrant as the key and lock but finally they were down and some bedding thrown haphazardly on top. Frohike coughed, "Um, I have to visit the little boy's room." "It's just there to your right. You'd better sleep that side of the bed since you're a visitor. I can find my way round my flat in the dark better than you'll be able to." When he got back Pendrell passed him and went into the bathroom himself. Frohike started undressing, but was distracted by the computer setup Pendrell had in the corner of the room. Pendrell came out of the bathroom in his shorts and t-shirt to find Frohike standing in shirt tails and socks examining a black box with interest. "Oh, that's just a gizmo I'm working on at the moment - trying to knock out interference when recording higher frequencies. It's based around a RISC processor." "Neat! Perhaps you could show me how it works?" "Sure, if you're interested. But tomorrow. I can't remember how it works at the moment." Frohike chuckled and then dropped his shirt and socks with the rest of his clothes and slipped under the covers, finding to his surprise that Pendrell was right - it was certainly more comfortable than his bed. He took off his glasses and carefully placed them on the table next to the couch in easy reach. Pendrell turned off the light then fumbled around the edge of the bed and finally climbed into his side. He turned on his side and tugged the covers up to his chin. "Night, Melvin." "Night, Brian." = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = Frohike lay there rigidly for a few minutes listening to the quiet breathing to his left. It had been so long since he shared a bed with anyone that he was afraid to move in case he disturbed Pendrell. He suddenly realised that Pendrell had probably shared this bed with Krycek, and not just sleeping. He guessed he ought to feel disgusted but the only emotion he could identify was anger at Krycek for what he had done to this nice kid. And perhaps a bit of jealousy, but he fell asleep before he could work out what or who he was jealous of. He woke in the middle of the night and stumbled to the bathroom, trying not to make any noise. When he came back into the room he noticed that the curtains were partly open so he went to close them and then realised that a shaft of light was shining across Pendrell. He stood for a few moments watching the sleeping figure. Pendrell had taken off his t-shirt at some point and the light fell across his pale skin and managed to strike a spark of colour from his red hair. It was so close to Frohike's fantasies that he almost reached out to touch him. But that would have made it real, and there was nothing for him in reality, only in fantasy. He went back to his side of the bed and lost himself in his dreams. There was the usual red hair, blue eyes and white limbs but tonight there was a different face. = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = Pendrell woke slowly. A little light filtered around the edge of the curtains. He opened his eyes carefully and licked his lips. That water seemed to have done the trick, he felt lethargic but no headache and his mouth was no worse than his usual morning mouth. He yawned and stretched, and that was when he realised that he was not alone in the bed. There was something warm sharing his space. 'Alex!' he thought immediately and felt a heat at his groin as his body responded despite himself. But Alex always slept at the far edge of the bed - separate, contained. This person was curled in a small ball behind him, close but not quite touching. For one wild moment he thought of a certain tiny FBI agent and the heat spread a little further before he remembered the previous evening. Pendrell shifted around until he was lying on his back and then looked at his bed companion. Frohike's sparse hair was sticking up in tufts and his face was relaxed in sleep so he looked less crumpled than usual. Still, nobody was ever going to call him good-looking. But Pendrell had tried good-looking and underneath the handsome exterior had been coldness and selfishness. He knew Alex would not have risked himself to come to Pendrell's rescue. Perhaps it was time to look below the packaging. As Pendrell wriggled to get more comfortable he realised that not all of Frohike was quite as relaxed - this could be embarrassing. He reached out and shook Frohike's shoulder. "Melvin. Melvin, time to wake up." "Whassup?" "It's morning. How do you feel?" Frohike's eyes blinked several times and then opened and stared at Pendrell in confusion. Surely he was still dreaming? Blue eyes and a smile first thing in the morning? Slowly the confusion cleared as he realised where he was, "Uh. Morning. I don't feel so bad ... that water worked." "That's just what I was thinking. I had to get up a couple of times in the night, but apart from that it's a great hangover cure." "Yeah. I had to get up too." He started to stretch and then froze, his eyes bulging in shock and mortification. This could be very embarrassing. Perhaps he could make it to the bathroom without Pendrell realising and then he met Pendrell's eyes. Too late, "Sorry about this, Brian." "Don't worry about it, Melvin. It's just a male morning thing. And it's not like it hasn't happened before in this bed," Pendrell hesitated before he carried on speaking. "If you wanted, I could help you with it?" "Help me?" Frohike's voice came out as a squawk. "Only if you wanted." Frohike's eyes were wide with astonishment. Was Pendrell really offering to have sex with him? Nobody had offered that to him for years. In his life it was usually a commercial transaction. Pendrell blushed vividly. "I shouldn't have said anything. I'm sorry." "No. That's OK. I'm OK. You wouldn't really ... I mean you can't want to ... not with me." "I'm no cock-teaser, Melvin." Frohike's face creased into a hesitant smile. "You're talking dirty again." "So, are you interested?" "Yes," Frohike blurted before he could change his mind. "What do you want me to do? I've never done this before. Do we need condoms?" 8 = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = Pendrell sat up and pulled back the covers, then turned and reached into the drawer of the cabinet by the bed and retrieved a condom. "Take your clothes off and lie on your back." Frohike pulled off his t-shirt and slipped the shorts down, revealing his still firm erection. It was his turn to blush as Pendrell knelt between his legs and looked him over. For some reason he made Pendrell think of a teddy bear - small, hairy and cuddly. The thought made him smile warmly. Frohike saw the smile and cringed. How could he have thought someone would think of him as anything but a joke. "You don't have to go through with this, Brian. I'm not exactly good-looking." "You look fine to me. And you do have your good points - like this." Pendrell stroked a hand along Frohike's cock which had begun to wilt. It stiffened and Frohike's eyes became even wider. Removing the condom from its packaging he smoothed it on efficiently. Then he shifted back, leant down and licked. Frohike yelped in surprise and his hips bounced off the bed. "If you're going to move about that much, I'll have to get the handcuffs." "Handcuffs?" squeaked Frohike, "You're joking aren't you?" That was the last intelligible thing Frohike said for a long time as Pendrell grinned evilly and then bent to his task. There were no two ways about it, Frohike was a babbler. He kept up a constant stream of remarks, all of which Pendrell ignored after he realised that Frohike was contradicting himself every other word. And that was when the words were making sense. "Oh, my God ... stop ... just there ... red ... no ... too much ... you can't ... yes ... that's ... I dunno ... yip ...." Pendrell found himself smiling foolishly as he worked with the diligence of a true technician. Alex had always demanded this as a tribute and there was a deep pleasure in just giving it as a gift, especially when it was appreciated so much. Frohike's hand lay on his head, not directing, but just laced through his hair as if to make sure he was really there. It was an oddly tentative gesture that sent a wave of affection through Pendrell. But there was nothing tentative about Frohike's hips which were flexing and thrusting under him. Suddenly they seemed to still for a moment and then jerked strongly as the climax hit. Finally Frohike lay panting and sweating on the sheets, looking completely exhausted but satiated. Pendrell found that at some point he had become fully aroused himself, pleasure must be contagious. He rolled over on his back and pulled his shorts off, then wrapped his hand around his shaft and began to jerk off. Suddenly he found another hand had joined his. "No, Brian, let me." "You don't have to." "I want to. But I may need a few pointers, usually I work solo. That's why they call me the Lone Gunman." They chuckled together for a moment and then Pendrell turned half on his side with his back to Frohike. "Spoon up behind me and then reach over. It'll be just like jerking yourself off but you have to stretch a little further." Frohike tentatively stroked the shaft in front of him, hoping he would not make a complete fool of himself and, even more, hoping that he was going to give Pendrell some pleasure. He stroked a little stronger and Pendrell gasped and writhed against him. He wondered if Pendrell was sensitive in the same places that he was and his explorations were met with a moan. Gaining confidence he began to vary speeds and techniques, now just a gentle touch, now a hard squeeze. He settled his leg over Pendrell's so he could feel more of the body squirming against him and snuffled in the scent on the back in front of him. He tried to remember when he had felt this good, and then gave up and just concentrated on enjoying the sensations around him. It was over all too soon. Pendrell came fiercely under his hand, turning his head to muffle his cry in the pillow. Frohike was astonished at how good it felt to give pleasure as well as to receive it. He shuffled back a bit on the bed, but Pendrell turned over and reached out to him, drawing him back to his side. He settled next to the strange and yet familiar body, sighing with contentment. He was awake, but this time the dream had not disappeared in the morning light. THE END -- Cheers Pollyanna " A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort "