As Dana made her way to the library for her free period, she ran into Zack
and his quiet friend.
"Oh, hey Dana," Zack enthused, "We were just sneaking out for a quick one."
He opened his coat jacket to reveal a pack of cigarettes.
"Um, uh, that’s O.K., I really need to get some studying done, but thanks."
She smiled
"I seriously doubt you’d need to study for a-a-anything, Dana,"  Bobby
Pendrell offered.
Dana rewarded him with another smile, "Thanks Bobby, but you’d be
surprised."
As she made her way into the library, Bobby nodded in agreement. "I
certainly would", he breathed.

Fox stopped in his tracks as he saw Dana pause to speak with Heflin and his
friend. He didn’t know much about Pendrell, but he got a tight feeling in
his gut when Heflin reached out and touched her shoulder. Whatever he had
asked her, she must have declined, because she turned and continued into the
library.  Zack turned and headed in his direction.
Catching his gaze, Heflin asked "What’re you looking at, Mulder?"
"Nothing, Zack," Fox met his eyes coldly, "Nothing at all."
Bobby threw Mulder a nervous glance as they passed him by.  "Hey Bobby."
Mulder smiled.
"Uh, hey..." Bobby replied nervously, then continued outside with Zack.
Mulder paused outside the library, contemplating whether or not to go in.
A shrill voice behind him helped him make the decision quickly.
He wheeled, a false smile spreading across his face.  Hey Molly!
"Wanna help me study Fox," she asked smiling and batting her eyelids.
"Nah, I’ve got a better idea," he replied, snaking his arm around her waist,
guiding her towards the door.
"Oh goody," she giggled.

When the bell rang signaling the end of the school day, Dana lingered by the
office, looking for her siblings.
She spied them with a group of friends leaving out a side door.
"Bill! Missy!" She called to them
"Hey DK!" Bill turned- "hey, catch a rids with that Fox kid, O.K.? We’re
heading over to the arcade with some friends for awhile."  He tossed her the
key.  "Here, Mom should be home with Charlie in a little bit."
Dana groaned.  Riding home with Fox alone was a daunting prospect.
Still......annoying though he had been, she had to admit to herself that on
a certain level she enjoyed the banter between them.  Arguing with somebody
who treated you as an equal was very gratifying.  And at one point, she
reminded herself, he had tried to apologize.
She went outside to the student parking lot and scanned the area for
Mulder’s Mustang.
Plus he had a really cool car, she added to herself, smiling.

As she made her way over to where Fox’s car was parked, Zack Heflin pulled
up in a beat up pickup truck.
"Hey Dana," he called. "Want a ride?"
"Um that’s O.K. Zack," she called, "I’ve got one-thanks anyway-see you
tomorrow."
"Your loss!" Barely hiding the scowl crossing his face, Zack sped away,
inadvertently spraying Dana’s legs with slush from the road.  Ugh! Dana
threw her hands down in disgust.
Man, it was cold.  She hurried her pace over to Fox’s car, anticipating the
warm interior.
When she was about 4 spaces away, the Mustang roared to life and sped away
as well.
As it passed by, Dana looked up in surprise to see a smirking Molly waving
at her.
Now what?, Dana thought to herself.
Dana had always been the type of girl to mask her emotions.
She despised the feelings of pity that were showered upon her when others
realized she was hurt or upset.  So she became quite good at hiding those
feelings.
That did not mean however, that she did not have them.
Her eyes smarting from the cold and suppressing tears, she steeled herself.
In true "Starbuck" fashion she began to slowly make her way home, impervious
to the wind and snow, and the freezing cold creeping up her legs.

5:25 p.m.
The Scully Household

"Mom, when’s Dana gonna get home? We were going to build a snowman!!"
Charlie whimpered.
It was almost 5:30, and Mrs. Scully was beginning to pace.
"I don’t understand, Bill, exactly why would you leave DK-Dana," she
corrected herself, "alone at school on the first day?"
"Well, mom, I thought the Mulder kid was gonna give us all a ride home, and
she’d just catch one with him, that she’d be O.K..."
"Well school ended almost 3 hours ago and she’s not home yet so I guess you
figured wrong."
The telephone rang, momentarily freeing Bill from his mother’s fury.
Missy nudged her brother.  I thought you said she had a ride home with Fox??
"I’m sure she did, Mis"  he retorted, "he probably just took her out
someplace. That still doesn’t mean I’m not gonna kick his ass, but I’m sure
Dana is fine."
They heard their mother gasp a little and looked towards her.  Her face
paled as she put down the receiver.   "Thank you, Mrs. Mulder, no that’s
all right.  Bill will go find her."
She turned towards them, her eyes welling up with tears.
"Bill?  Please take my car and..and go find your sister, please."
"WHAT??" He roared, "She wasn’t with that Mulder kid?? He didn’t pick her
up??"
"No, Bill, he apparently, had other plans and..and..."  she sank down into a
chair.
Missy rushed to her side.  "It’s O.K. mom, Dana’s fine. You know how
stubborn she can be. She’s probably sitting inside the school office waiting
on us, refusing to call."
Bill strode out the door, cursing.
When he found that Mulder kid, he was going to give him something to
remember.
For the time being, his attention was focused on his little sister, and
finding her.  Fast.


5:30 p.m.
The Mulder Residence

"WHAT?"
"You heard me Fox."
"Shit."
"That’s enough language, Fox, now get moving and go help find that girl-
honestly, Fox, what were you thinking? I told their mother you’d bring them
home today, so they could get their bearings...and now this?"
"Mom, I’m sorry it’s just that...well, Molly and I.." he paused, stunned-
"I...I.. just thought...."
"No Fox, if you were around Molly I doubt very much that you were doing any
of the thinking. Now quit wasting time and go find Dana."
She shivered a little to herself.  "It’s got to be close to freezing out
there."
Ashamed and afraid for the copper haired newcomer, Fox bolted out the door.


5:40 p.m.
Somewhere in Chilmark

Dana was near collapse and more than half frozen.
The route she’d  thought would take her home had turned into a dead end near
the harbor.
Now trying to retrace her steps, she could not recall how she’d wound up
where she was. Snow had begun to fall and was covering the tracks she’d
assumed were her own.
The vacant holiday cottages all looked the same.  Scanning the terrain for
anything familiar, she choked back the urge to cry.  It won’t help matters,
Starbuck, she told herself.
Besides, it’ll only worsen the sting of the cold on your face.
She tried to imagine what Ahab would do in this situation, and that helped
some. She knew he would continue and persevere until he found shelter or
someone found him.
But she was so very cold.
Her levis were practically frozen where they’d been splashed with the slush
from Zack’s truck. She could barely feel her toes except for the constant
stinging. At least that meant they weren’t frostbitten...yet. She said a
silent thank you to her mother for insisting she wear a hat & mittens.
For a moment Dana thought she saw headlights on the next road over from
where she was, and ran across the snow covered field.
She was running blindly, oblivious to the chill when she went down.  So
smooth and white was the snow that she hadn’t even noticed the ditch.
"Shit!!" 
Tumbling, she felt the twist in her ankle and called out. Looking up, she
saw the brake lights of the car turn red. Dana couldn’t hold it back any
longer.  She started to cry. She was cold and wet, her ankle hurt, she
missed her dad and she was scared.
She slumped to the ground sobbing, oblivious to the cold.
It felt kind of good to be lying down, she thought to herself.
Maybe she could just rest for a bit.
She closed her eyes, collapsed onto the snow, and sank into a bittersweet
dream.
She dreamed of her father, sitting with her under the stars.
"See that one, Starbuck? That’s Orion, and farther above you can see
Draco...."
So many beautiful stars....

Fox slammed on the brakes, his car skidding ever so slightly on the icy
street. On the next block over, he had sworn he saw a figure running through
the snow. Now straining his head around he saw nothing.  He continued on
down the road. But several miles down, the nagging voice in his head kept
on. He was sure he had heard a voice cry out...or did he?  Was it just his
overactive conscience, riddled with the guilt of ditching someone who had
depended on him?  Someone sweet, and smart, with glowing eyes...
He swore to himself.   If he’d had any idea--his head swam with the vision
of the Scully girl smiling and defiant.   He felt the knot in his stomach
twist and tighten. With resolve, he turned the car around and drove slowly
back the way he’d been.
Almost a half hour had passed and it was growing dark.
Passing a vacant lot between summer cottages he noticed something in the
snow. He drove up to the next street and turned back down towards where he’d
seen the dark shape.
He stopped the car and got out, immediately noticing the footprints.
He sprinted so quickly that as he came upon the still figure in the snow, he
very nearly trampled her and went into the ditch as well.
Oh god! It was her.  And she wasn’t moving.  Her eyes were closed and her
lips were impossibly blue. He out a hand to her cheek and shivered at how
cold she felt.
Reaching his hand to her throat, he felt for a pulse. Her eyelids flickered
just slightly.
Lifting her as gently as he could, Fox  carried her to the idling Mustang.
She said something which sounded remotely like Ahab.
God, she’s hallucinating, he thought.  He slammed his fists onto the
steering wheel.
Stupid. Stupid.  Carefully he made his way to the Scully household.
He honked several times when he pulled into the drive, but wasted no time in
gathering Dana up.
The front door flew open as he stepped onto the porch.
"Dana! Oh Lord!" Mrs. Scully cried out when she saw her.
"Missy! Get some blankets-warm them in the dryer quickly, then call the
doctor."
Fox couldn’t meet her gaze.  "Mrs. Scully, I-I..I’m so sorry..." he began.
"Shh, it’s all right Fox, thank you for finding her."
"Is there anything I can do?"
Mrs. Scully looked into the face of the frightened young man and despite her
frustration, her heart softened a little.  "If you would help Missy get
something warm to cover her, I need to change her out of these cold wet
things."
Fox felt stupid.  "Of course, Mrs. Scully, excuse me."
He hurried off to give her privacy as she stripped the clothes off her
daughter.
Missy hurried in with some warm blankets.   She sat by her sister rubbing
her hands as their Mother rubbed her feet. Fox slowly came back in, concern
in his eyes.
"Fox, there is something else you could do..."
"Anything."
"Her older brother Bill is out looking for her in my car, and..."   Fox was
almost to the front door when it burst open unexpectedly.
"You sorry son of a bitch!!"
"Bill!!"
It was all he could do to keep from lunging at Mulder.  "Sorry, Mom but this
piece of shit is the reason for..."
"That’s enough.  Fox is the reason she’s home now and I won’t have you
speaking that way in this house.
Now come here and sit with your sister while I try the doctor again."
Bill rushed to Dana’s side, barely stifling a "fuck!" when he saw her bluish
complexion.
His eyes shot daggers at Mulder.  "You can go now Fox," he spat, "you’ve
been enough *Help*  for today."
Wanting to speak to Mrs. Scully but not wanting to wait, Fox edged to the
door.
"Thanks Fox," Melissa murmured, "We’ll call you later to let you know...."
"Yeah thanks, Fox," Bill echoed sarcastically, "now goodbye!"
Fox closed the door gently behind him.
As he made his way to the car he wondered at the sinking feeling in his
stomach.
Guilt, yes, but there was something more.
More than just concern that he’d been the cause.
More than the desire to make reparations.
His mother seemed relieved when he stepped through the door.
"Fox, thank goodness.  Mrs. Scully called a few moments ago..."
"Is she going to be all right?"
"They don’t know yet dear, they’re admitting her to the hospital, it’s too
soon to tell."
Fox cradled his head in his hands.
"Molly called, I told her you’d be back shortly."
Fox strode to his room.  "Mom, I’m going to bed-unless Mrs. Scully calls, I
don’t want to be disturbed."
Nodding in agreement, Tina Mulder set to preparing a sandwich for her son.
She knew better than to try to force conversation at a time like this.
After bringing the snack to his room, she retired to bed herself, and said a
prayer.


Thursday, January 8
2:30 p.m.
Rhode Island Regional Medical Center

Dana opened her eyes slowly.
Confused by the strange surroundings, she looked up and caught the eye of
her mother.
"Dana," she exclaimed warmly, "hi honey!"
Dana felt it difficult to speak, and her mom brought her a glass of water.
She gestured around the room with a confused expression.
"Don’t you remember honey, you tried to get home from school and must have
been lost-you hurt yourself, and Fox found you and brought you home.  You’ve
been here in the hospital for several days.  And," she added, eyes
twinkling, "Fox has visited you every single day."
Dana rolled her eyes.  Her mom could be so obvious. All the same, a light
went on inside her brain. Fox had found her-brought her safely home, and had
come there to see her.
Suddenly, she felt extremely self conscious of her appearance.
"Missy and Charlie and Bill will be delighted to see you’re awake now!"
At the mention of her family, Dana’s eyes brightened and she turned towards
her mom.
"Ahab?" She whispered dryly.
"Sweetie, I spoke to your father and he was terribly concerned, but he is on
maneuvers and couldn’t make it right now, I’m sorry."
Dana’s eyes sank down.
"But he did send you this beautiful bouquet-how he managed to find lilies in
winter is beyond me."
Dana looked up to see a beautiful arrangement of stargazer lilies and smiled
despite herself. There were balloons scattered around, and some other
flowers, daisies and carnations. And another arrangement-beautiful pink
roses with baby’s breath. Dana reached for them and inhaled the beautiful
aroma deeply.  They were as fragrant as they were beautiful.
"Thanks, mom," she smiled.
"Oh, those aren’t from me, dear, those are from Fox-read the card."
Dana nearly dropped the bouquet.  Somewhat shakily, she pulled the tiny card
from its sheath and read the inscription.   It had a preprinted feel better
soon message and written below that simply, "Dana--Please forgive me--Fox."
Dana smiled to herself as she placed the card on her bedside table.
"Speaking of which I imagine he’ll be here soon-usually is this time of
day." 
"I hope he’s not skipping school."
As if on cue, she heard a soft knock on the door.  The door opened quietly
and Fox Mulder looked in.
When he saw Dana sitting up and awake, he practically gasped, smiling
broadly.
"Dana! Uh, DK.." he corrected, "it’s so good to see you awake!"
"Dana’s fine," she whispered hoarsely, "Fox."
"Sweetie, I’m gonna go get you a drink of something, it may help ease the
dryness from your air tube."
Grinning, she got up, "Fox, would you keep an eye on her for me, I’ll be
right back"
Fox came over to where her mother had been sitting and seated himself next
to Dana.
"You had us all pretty worried," he admitted, looking down. His brown eyes
darkened. "Especially me, Dana, I felt so terrible, it was really
irresponsible of me to ditch you like that-if I had realized you wouldn’t
be with Bill and Missy I wouldn’t have left -I swear..."  
His hands had tightened around the side bars of Dana’s bed, knuckles
whitening.
Dana gently laid her hand on his for a moment.
"It’s O.K. Fox, it was stupid of me to try to walk home.  It’s my fault I
was so impatient. I’m fine, really."
Dana still felt pretty bad but didn’t want him to know.  
After all he’d put her through she was being so nice to him. Fox was stunned
with disbelief. He had never met anyone like her before.
Scully broke the  silence.  "How’s school?"
"Oh, Biology is a real drag without my partner, and English well isn’t the
same either-everybody in school keeps talking about her and what she is
doing right now..."  he rambled on.
As Fox spoke Dana felt herself drifting in and out of consciousness.
She was suddenly, overwhelmingly tired, and powerless to resist.
Mrs. Scully opened the door to see Fox rattling off to a sleeping Dana.
"Fox?"
He started, and turned towards her.  "Mrs. Scully?"
"Uh, Fox, I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but I think you’ve lost your
audience."
He turned and regarded the sleeping girl before him. A solitary strand of
her copper hair had strayed into her eyes. He brushed it aside, and got up.
"Mrs. Scully?"
"Yes, Fox."
"Tell her goodbye for me?"
"Certainly dear, and thanks for visiting-it might not seem like it, but I
know it made her day."
"Well seeing her awake definitely made mine..." he paused  "I -I still don’t
know what to tell you Mrs. Scully."
"It’s all right now Fox, she’ll be fine.  Really.  Don’t agonize over this,
Dana wouldn’t want that."
"Maybe you could help her catch up when she returns to school next week,
make sure she gets home warm?"
His hazel eyes lit up.  "Absolutely."
"O.K. then, I’m going to wait for her sister & brothers to get here, drive
carefully now, Fox!"
She couldn’t help but smile as she noticed a spring in the step of the young
man who had been dragging himself in and out of that room since her daughter
had been admitted.
She was a devout Catholic, and as such, recognized true penitence when she
saw it.
And she couldn’t help but notice something more, in his eyes when he looked
at Dana. Margaret genuinely liked this boy, no question of that.

The next few days and weeks passed by in what seemed like a whirlwind.
Exceptional student that she was, Dana had little difficulty in catching up
on her schoolwork. The difficulty came in concentrating whenever her
newfound tutor came round to help her.
Still, they found in each other an enjoyable and comfortable team.
Each one borrowing the strengths of the other.  It wasn’t the type of
relationship Dana (or her Mother) had initially hoped for,  but in its own
right, it was wholly satisfying.
Fox was still seeing Molly, but his patience-and time spent with her
decreased rapidly. Coincidentally as the time he spent with Dana increased.
There was a trust & familiarity between them--a friendship of mutual
respect. Nancy wouldn’t let Dana get by with it and teased her endlessly.
Zack for his part, seemed to harbor guilty feelings from his part in her
accident, despite the fact that Dana had refused his offer of a ride.  He
seemed inordinately attentive-sometimes stiflingly so. Before Dana realized
it, it was time for prom.
Dances had never really held much interest for her, but she’d hoped this one
would be different. In between classes, Fox had stopped her in the hallway.
"I really need to tell you something, Dana, can we talk at lunchtime?"
"Sure."  She tried to sound casual, but felt as if he legs were about to
buckle under her.
The periods before lunch dragged on endlessly.   Most of Mr. Brayshaw’s
class was spent exchanging crooked smiles and unspoken communication.
Finally, the bell rang and she gathered her things together, waiting by the
door for him.
"O.K., lets go by our lockers."
Dana could hardly take the fluttering in her chest.  This was it, she
thought excitedly!
He pulled an envelope from his jacket.  Dana paused, slightly puzzled.
Mulder opened the letter and handed it to her.  Go on, he jabbered
excitedly, read it!
As Dana scanned the page, she felt a sinking feeling in her chest and her
face tightened.  "Oh god."
"What?" He asked.
"Oh-god," she stammered, "this is just incredible. Wow. Congratulations,
Fox."
Oblivious to her shock he continued.   "Isn’t it amazing?  Not only am I
finally going to get out of this hole, I am going to Oxford, and I get to
go early on an independent study!! All expenses paid by the scholarship!
Wahoo!! England! Can you believe it?!"
He held his hand up for a high five.
Dana turned, fighting to hold back the tears that were stinging her eyes.
"That’s great Fox, really...it’s just that...I’ll miss you."
Suddenly realizing the impact his news was having on her, he followed, his
hand on her shoulder.
"Hey-hey," he murmured, turning her round. "I haven’t left yet-we still have
plenty of time-and I’ll be returning for my graduation, and for most of
summer break too."
Dana smiled weakly, "oh good, that’ll be great."
"Hey and don’t forget the winter formal!"  Dana caught her breath in her
throat.
"Maybe you and your date could join Molly and me-rent a limo, go out to
dinner, do it up big. Who are you going with?"
Dana couldn’t take it.
Tears spilling out of her eyes, she ducked into the ladies room leaving a
very perplexed Fox Mulder behind her.   He didn’t understand. He thought
she’d be so happy for him.
After so many years of wanting to get off this tiny island, his dream was
finally coming true.
And the one person he’d wanted to share the good news with most didn’t seem
to care.
He sighed.   Well maybe Molly would be more excited by the news.

You what??  I can’t believe it!
This was starting to feel all too familiar.
"We’ll still have spring vacation and graduation & the summer-and prom," he
added helpfully.
"Fox, I just can’t believe it. I mean I’m happy for you and all, but..."
"Great Mol, thanks!"
"Oh and another thing, Fox.  I am *not* going to be tailed around all night
by your little protege and her date. This is my senior prom and I’m not
sharing you with anybody, I don’t care how guilty you feel!" Fox started to
interrupt, but saw the futility in that.
They continued on to lunch, and the rest of the day was uneventful.
Unless you counted the silence of a certain redhead.
It wasn’t exactly the silent treatment, she responded to most questions in
one way or another, she just wasn’t talking.   No witty return on his quips,
no laughing smile or raised eyebrows even at his most bawdy attempts at
humor.   Nothing.  Figuring he was in it as deep as possible, he decided 
to break Molly’s news to her.   As they left the class for 7th period, he
pulled her aside again.
"Dana?"
"Fox, look, I really don’t think I can handle any more news bulletins right
now."
"Well I need to tell you something....about prom."
Dana looked up at him suspiciously-the pools of her blue eyes flickering.
"It’s just that, uh, I had a talk with Molly, and she decided she’d rather
not...."
He was stuttering almost.  Dana raised her eyebrow just slightly. "Rather
not what?"
"She just doesn’t want to double date that’s all."
The shock gave way to an almost eerie sense of relief.   "Oh, is that all."
"Well that’s good, Fox, that’s just as well, cause Zack and I weren’t
interested."
Mulder’s momentary sense of relief gave way to shock.
"You...you..you’re going with Zack?" he choked out.
"Well,  yeah, since he did ask me," she added, angry for letting her guard
down twice in one day.   "And you should see a doctor about that stutter."
Silently regretting such a spiteful remark, Dana strode off.
As Mulder watched her fade into the crowd of students, a familiar tight
feeling crept into his stomach.