Title: Second Chances Author: E. Ripley Email: Feedback devoured with gusto at dana1muldr@aol.com Rating: PG for violence & language Category: S, A Spoilers: Tempus Fugit/Max, 731 Keywords: Character death, M/S UST, Scully/Pendrell friendship Summary: Agonizing over the death of Agent Pendrell, Scully discovers that time is not necessarily a universal constant and finds herself in an unusual & painful predicament. Disclaimer: The characters contained herein are not of my creation sadly, but belong to Sir Chris of Carter and his band of merry men, aka 1013 productions. This story is not intended as a theft but an homage. The sky above her was alight with a million twinkling stars. Gazing up at the heavens, Scully fought back the urge to cry. He stepped out of the trailer and joined her. Gently he brought his hand to rest at the small of her back. A tiny gesture, one she always took comfort in. "You thinking about Pendrell?" She nodded. "I...I realized I didn’t even know his first name. Then I actually started thinking about the gift that you gave me for my birthday." She fished the keychain out of her pocket. "You never got to tell me why you gave it to me or what it means, but I think I know. I think you appreciate that there are extraordinary men and women, and extraordinary moments when history leaps forward on the backs of these individuals. That what can be imagined can be achieved. That while you must dare to dream but there is no substitute for perseverance, hard work and team work. Because no one gets there alone, and while we commemorate the greatness of these events and those who achieve them, we cannot forget those who made the sacrifices to make these achievements and leaps possible." Scully sighed a little, still scanning the heavens, fingering the keychain in her hand. Mulder studied her for a moment, then looked towards the sky again, a smile on his lips. "I just thought it was a pretty cool keychain." Scully looked at him, eyebrow raised and laughed. Mulder always had an uncanny ability to lighten the heaviness in her heart. They walked off to the car, and drove home in a comfortable silence. As she got out of the car, Mulder leaned over. "You want me to come in for a little bit, Scully?" There was a trace of concern in his eyes. Dana smiled faintly. "Thanks Mulder, but I think I need to be alone for awhile." He looked unconvinced. "I’m fine, Mulder, really." Mulder felt his heart thump. Nodding his assent, Mulder waved and slowly drove away. Glancing through the rear view mirror, he saw the sudden sag of her shoulders and slight tremble in her body. He had been right. He wanted more than anything to ease her tears, to reach out to her....and he had failed. Again. Scully busied herself about her bedroom, noticing that her bloodied clothes still lay crumpled on the floor from the night Pendrell was shot, she sank into a chair, head in her hands. The blood...the look in his eyes as she tried to help him. So sorrowful, and full of an emotion she could not quite grasp. Fear? Regret? Longing? She tried to shake the painful image out of her mind. As a doctor she had known the dim prognosis for such a wound. But she wouldn’t let him see that fear in her eyes..she had to be strong and do her best to stop the bleeding-to comfort him. She couldn’t let him slip away so easily. Pendrell had feelings for her, that much she knew. Mulder enjoyed teasing her about it, and some of her friends in the bureau had mentioned it as well. She failed to see the humor then or now. Why did she shut herself off from people so? Why couldn’t she have allowed herself just one chance? One moment to enjoy the company of a nice guy? Someone who had died, so that she might live? She already knew the answer. For protection. If she had allowed herself to get close to Pendrell the pain she was feeling now would be so much worse. Like when Agent Cooper was shot. Coop had been a good friend in the bureau, and good friends were hard to find. Reminding herself that Pendrell’s funeral was tomorrow, she put in a call to Agent Starling at the bureau, and got her voice mail. "Clarice..it’s Dana. I knew you were planning on going to Pendrell’s funeral tomorrow, and I was wondering if I could ride with you? Dana took a deep breath & continued speaking. "I....just don’t want to go alone, and I don’t think Mulder is going to be able to go..." she faltered. "Clarice? Could you call me back?...I have to ask you something," Dana choked back a sob. "before we go...I just...I need to know his first name..." Scully hung up the phone, her tears ignored. She laid out the outfit which had become her "funeral standard." Setting her alarm for 7:45, she relished the idea of sleeping in a little. Mulder would understand. And if Skinner didn’t, (which she doubted) she knew Mulder would make him. She drew the covers up around her and sighing, fell into a restless dream- filled sleep. She was on the shore this time, tugging frantically on a rope. The rope coiled and coiled around her feet as she continued to reel it in. Whatever was on the other end was too far away to see, but she continued her labors all the same. She felt a hand upon her back, and Mulder’s voice, soothing her, "Scully, it’s OK." She turned to him and he became Skinner, his face angry, concerned. "Agent Scully, I have a responsibility for the agents under my supervision, and I will not allow you to put your life in danger to save a dead man." Confused and frightened at the impact of his words, she looked to the rope in her hands. The end had been severed, and was receding off back into the waters. The length in her hands was covered in blood. Pendrell’s blood. Her blood. She was dying too. Blood dripped from her nose onto the rope in her hands and onto the ground. She heard a voice around her and looking up, Skinner faded back into Mulder, who in turn faded away smiling warmly. She knew words were being spoken, but couldn’t understand. She could see another familiar figure, faintly in the distance. Dana awoke with a start, as her alarm clock went off. It was barely light. Disoriented from the strange dream , she looked around her room. Focusing on the clock, she made out the red led numbers....5:30 a.m. She shook her head a little, certain she had set it to 7:45. she mused, Without bothering to turn on the light, she slipped into a pair of sweats, and silently made her way outside. It looked to be a beautiful day, she observed glumly. The sort of day that made most people feel good just to be alive. A bad day for a funeral. She jogged briskly, as if pushing herself physically could help ease the ache inside her. She noticed other runners, but avoided eye contact. This park was a favorite with local joggers, many of them in the bureau as well. On the rare occasions Mulder camped on her couch even he made use of it’s natural hills and trails. Feeling a rush of adrenaline from her exertions, Scully quickened her pace. As she made her way to the point where she normally stopped for her warm down, she came up behind another jogger. One with startlingly familiar red hair. She slowed her pace down, intending to stop. As she passed the fellow, now leaning over in stretches himself, she made eye contact. Her eyes widened as the familiar face of Agent Pendrell looked up at her then brightened considerably. "Hey...Agent Scully.." the smile on his face fading as Scully nearly tripped over herself, then paused for a moment before fleeing quickly away. He frowned a little bit, then sighing softly, continued with his exercises. Scully ran all the way home, heart racing, her head pounding. When she got home she slammed the door behind her. Gasping for air, she looked around for something to vent her frustration on, and finding nothing, slumped to the floor, crying. After a few moments, she composed herself, and went into the kitchen. She rummaged through the refrigerator, wishing she hadn’t dropped her last bottle of lemon Perrier. Reaching her hand into the bottom drawer, she drew it back, amazed. There was another one left. Mulder would have a field day. As she made her way out of the kitchen, the cordless phone rang. Startled by it, she dropped the green glass bottle, and it shattered on the floor. "God DAMN it," she cursed aloud for the second time that week. Picking up the phone, she calmed her voice a little as she tried to mop up the mess. "Scully..." she answered, fuming. There was a pause. "Scully, are you OK?" She groaned. "Mulder do you know what time it is? The phone startled me and now I’ve broken another bottle of..." Mulder interrupted her. "Scully, you must have butterfingers. Yes, it’s about 6:45. Look, I’m sorry but we need to get going. Frisch just called me and he’s getting nervous. I need you to pick him up and wait for the Federal Marshals. I’m heading over to Great Sacandaga Lake and see if I can dig anything up." There was a long pause. "Scully?" She sounded really annoyed. "Mulder, what the hell are you talking about? The military released him already?" "Mulder, if you go near that lake they’re just gonna arrest you again." Her voice softened a little. "You know Pendrell’s funeral is today. I’d like to help, but after the bar, I’m just not up for it." Now it was Mulder’s turn to pause. "Scully? I’m confused here. Help Frisch again? And how could the military arrest me? "I haven’t even been there yet -& what was that supposed to mean about the military *releasing him?* He’s on the run from them right now & needs our protection." Another long pause. As Mulder spoke, Scully paced around her apartment, agitated. She made her way to her bedroom. "Scully, what funeral? Did something happened to Pendrell?" She didn’t answer. She couldn’t. Stunned she let the phone slip from her hands and onto the floor. This wasn’t happening. There in front of her, folded neatly across the back of her bedroom chair was her brown pantsuit, pressed & clean & free of blood. Slumping onto her bed, she was vaguely aware of Mulder’s voice calling her from the phone. Reaching over, she picked it up, hit end. Maybe she really was going crazy. Perhaps she was dreaming. Scully rolled over onto her side, and sobbing softly, curled up into a ball. Which is how, 20 minutes later, her partner found her. When she acted so weird on the phone, Mulder got nervous. She sounded confused and disoriented, so the psychologist in him wanted her to open up. He never heard her this out of control before. When her phone went dead, the partner in him got scared and he rushed over as fast as traffic would allow. Ignoring her need for privacy, he used his key and entered the apartment. He took notice of the broken glass on the floor and scanning the empty living room, rushed to her bedroom. He stopped short when he saw her lying there curled into a ball, weeping. She heard him come in and she turned towards him her face red & streaked with tears. Her eyes widened quickly when she saw him, then softened with what Mulder hoped was relief. He approached her slowly, and took a seat beside her on the bed. "Scully?" He brushed a tear away with his thumb and lightly massaged her shoulders. "I think I’m going crazy, Mulder," she whimpered and leaning into his chest, let the tears come. Mulder was stunned. Scully had never let down her guard like this before. Even during the Pfaster case she had collected herself quickly, ending too soon the contact of her against him. He waited till her crying subsided a little then asked her gently, "Do you want to talk abut it?" She straightened up a little, wiping her eyes. If anyone was capable of helping her through this, it was Mulder. When she had finished explaining everything, Mulder’s expression was quiet and reserved. Not a good sign. "Scully, you *do* know what day it is, right?" She bit her lip, afraid to answer, pacing the floor. "Well, Mulder it should be March 8th, but it’s not, is it?" He shook his head. "No, Scully, it’s March 5th." They went through every logical scenario. Scully fell back on her medical background, seeking her reassurance from medicine. Possible illnesses or ailments which might fit her symptoms. It didn’t work, so Mulder tried. Sifting through a partial list of extreme possibilities, even he began to get discouraged. Nothing seemed to match the particulars of Scully’s situation enough to warrant consideration. Discouraged, they sat in silence together. Scully looked up at him, her brow furrowed, eyes clouded with fear. Mulder caught it and responded instantly. "Scully, No! Trust me, I know crazy, and you’re far from it. I told you before, you’re the sanest person I know." Scully smiled a little in spite of herself. "Mulder, I hate to say this, but that’s not very comforting." Gladdened by her change in mood, he shot her a mock wounded look, and squeezed her hand. "OK well at the very least, let’s be practical about this." "Most likely it is either: (A.)an extreme deja vu? (B.) an acid flashback? (C.) a very bad dream? Seeing the thoughtful expression in her face, he continued. "So if it’s really is just a bad dream, what could be causing this?" She gave him a wry half smirk. "Mulder you’re the Oxford boy with a Psychology degree, you tell me." "OK OK.." he appeared to be thinking. "Well, let’s see, uh, stress, lack of sleep, chemical exposure or drug addiction, physiological changes in your system, resulting in possible hormonal/chemical imbalances...." "Mulder, you’re not trying to tell me you think this is PMS??" He stifled a laugh. "No, Scully, I’m just trying to pinpoint the most probable cause." Recalling what had happened with his water and then the case in Maryland, Scully thought for a second. She looked pensive. "Well, Mulder, could we go someplace else to pinpoint? Other than reliving this day, I feel basically OK, and I think I’d like to get on with something, try to keep busy? Maybe doing a little work will bring my mind back to the present...the right one," she added, whichever it is.." Mulder smiled wickedly. "Well before you’re back on the road to mental health, G-woman, would you mind trying to recall the winning lottery numbers?" She punched him in the shoulder. "Ouch, Scully." He stuck out his full lower lip in a mock pout. "That hurt." He drove her over to the office, where sure enough, everyone was bustling about like any normal Wednesday. She remembered Frisch suddenly. "Mulder, what about Frisch?" "All taken care of, Scully. While you were changing, I made some calls." "Sanderlin & Mitchum are gonna sit on him until you’re.....feeling better." She nodded. "I hate to leave you like this, but I really do need to get over to that lake and check out the other crash site." "Mulder!" Scully looked alarmed. "Don’t go...in the...before I.." Cursing, Scully paused. She was rambling, not making any sense. She took a deep breath & tried again. "No matter what my problem is, I remember that you were hurt and got arrested." "I had to bail you out Mulder, and I was scared...it was really dangerous-you had some kind of burns." From a moment Scully worried that he thought she had snapped. His face took on a familiar leer and smiling, he asked her, "So, you had to rescue me, eh? Was it a turn on?" She groaned. "Mulder!" Shaking her head, she sat down at her desk. "You know what Mulder, go ahead. I think maybe you need another head injury. If you stay here, I’m liable to shoot you again." She shot him a bemused, reproachful look. He grinned. This was more like his old partner. "OK, Scully but here, think about what I said." He tossed her a newspaper, opened to the racing forum. Without missing a beat, she caught it in her hand and deftly transferred it into the open trash can beside her desk. Mulder was impressed. She had barely even looked up during the entire proceeding. His face turned a little serious. "Scully, you don’t have to go get Frisch if you don’t want to, the other agents can take care of it, I already spoke with Skinner, and he..." "Mulder it’s all right, it’s fine...I’m fine. Just being here at work, I feel better already." "Now go. But be careful. You’ll want a change of clothes and some aspirin." He understood the clothes, he was going to a lake. But aspirin? "What’s the aspirin for, Scully?" He had started to turn the handle on the door, then paused for her reply. As he stood there, the door suddenly sprang open towards him, smacking him squarely on the nose. "For *that*, Mulder." She barely stifled a giggle. An embarrassed custodian excused himself , muttering his apologies. Mulder held his injured nose in his hands. Giving her a disgusted look, he whined, "You could’ve warned me, Scully" then stepped out the door. Chuckling to herself, she removed her glasses. Her smile disappeared as she regarded the telephone. Reaching out to it hesitantly, she picked up the receiver. She slowly dialed a number, and tentatively brought the receiver to her ear, listening. "Hoover Crime Lab, -Pendrell speaking." She hung up quickly, her pulse racing. She put her head in her hands, rubbing her temples. Looking up as she massaged the bridge of her nose, an idea struck her. Whether she was going crazy or not, she was not about to let the opportunity to save Pendrell’s life pass her by. She decided against picking up Frisch. Pendrell’s blood would not be on her hands a second time. She called Skinner and had very little trouble getting him to grant her the rest of the day off. She gathered up her things and caught a cab ride home. Knowing Mulder would either call her from jail or when he was finished, she spent the rest of the day puttering nervously around her apartment. She fell asleep in front of the television, and was awakened by a telephone ringing. Her telephone. No, her cell phone. She rifled through her jacket, and pulled it out, hitting the on key and mumbling "Scully." As soon as she held the phone to her ear, she straightened up. Sirens. She could hear sirens. "Agent Scully, this is Assistant Director Skinner. There’s been an incident at a local bar. Agent Pendrell was shot & it looks pretty bad. I know you’re at home, but he asked for you and I ...." "Where are they taking him, sir?" She knew the answer before he said it. "Georgetown Medical Center." "Got it." Scully hung up the phone immediately. She cursed herself the entire way there. She missed the opportunity to warn him. Selfishly she had considered herself to be the key in everything. God, if only she had warned him. Stupid stupid stupid. Flashing her ID, she made it up to the surgery wing in time to hear the doctor pronounce TOD. Tears stinging her eyes, she bumped into AD Skinner. "Agent Scully." His look softened a little. "I’m sorry. Pendrell was a good man." He wanted to tell her that he felt the hope of seeing her had kept Pendrell hanging on as long as he did when he noticed the blood. "Agent Scully?" Confused as to what he was staring at, she drew her hand to her face, and feeling the stickiness there, drew it away, covered in blood. She gasped. Skinner handed her a tissue. "Agent Scully, why don’t you go downstairs and have someone take a look at that?" She started to protest but saw the look on his face. And it suddenly occurred to her, despite the series of events, that perhaps the nosebleed could have something to do with her "troubled" state of mind. Dana agreed to admit herself for testing and observation. Before Skinner left, she handed him her cell phone. "Sir, I am ..expecting to hear from Agent Mulder later tonight and..." Skinner stopped her. "That’s no problem, Agent Scully, when he calls I’ll fill him in on what happened and tomorrow I’ll advise you if I should hear from him. Now get some rest." Again, she started to protest. If something happened to Mulder She needed to know about it right away. "Agent Scully!" The tone in his voice was unyielding. "I am responsible for all the agents under my supervision and I will not put another agent’s life in danger unnecessarily. Now get some rest." She sank back into the hospital bed. After the nurse came and removed a blood sample, she gratefully accepted the sedative which was offered. At the very least, a dreamless sleep would do her some good. But dreamless sleep never came. What came was a repeat of her dreams from the night before. It began on the shore again, but this time there was no rope. This time Pendrell was there, in a boat, a distant figure fading into the fog, drifting farther and farther away. She felt a presence...it was Skinner again, stern but sympathetic. "Agent Scully, I’m sorry but he’s gone. Your chance to save him has passed, it’s too late. I will not allow you to put your life in further jeopardy." She looked at him, saddened at first, then angry as guilt washed over her. She had missed the opportunity to warn him. She was not giving up now. Scully dove into the water, water so dark and cold her body numbed from the very moment it made contact. Ignoring the dull aching of her limbs, she continued in pursuit of the craft, fading ever farther into the fog. Pendrell’s eyes were trained upon her, yet there was no trace of recognition. Exhausted, Scully’s broad strokes turned to flailing arms as the water washed around her , blanketing her. She struggled to keep her head above water, but the water refused to relinquish its icy grasp. Now she would die as well. As she sank into the depths, she was overcome by a sudden calm, and ceased her struggles. Floating slowly, she sank to the bottom. As darkness overwhelmed her, she was suddenly torn from peaceful surrender by a single unbidden thought. "Mulder!" Dana awoke gasping for air. An electronic wailing beside her revealed itself to be her bedside alarm clock. It was still dark. Head swimming, Dana tried to get a bead on her surroundings. Feeling about herself she realized she was no longer in the Hospital. , she looked around her room. Focusing on the still blaring clock, she made out the red led numbers....5:30 a.m. Oh God. She sat there in the darkness, legs curled up against her body. She wrapped her arms around them, drawing them tighter and rocked back & forth on her bed. The suggestion to go for another run presented itself, but she couldn’t do it. Minutes ticked by slowly. As long as she didn’t go anywhere-if she didn’t do anything she could pretend it was any other day. Not the same day. Not again. Lost in thought, Scully lay there as the sun gradually streamed through her window. Finally she gave in to thirst. Stepping cautiously out of her bed, she padded her way to the kitchen. Opening her refrigerator, she almost instantly reached for the green bottle of Perrier she knew shouldn’t be there. Wryly, she mused to herself that she was at least saving some money on her grocery bills. Before she drew the emerald bottle out, she stopped, and put it back. Maybe she could change things by altering her actions. Reaching into her cupboard, she selected a teabag. Cranberry Zinger. One of her favorites. As she set the water to boil she started feeling somewhat better. That is, until the phone rang. She checked her watch. 6:45. Mulder. She began to reach for the phone, then let her hand drop. After several more rings, her answering machine picked up. Scully listened intently as her voice greeted the caller. Sure enough, after the beep, there he was, mild annoyance in his husky voice. Scully smiled faintly despite herself. Even when she wasn’t trapped in a repetitive concentric hell, her partner’s reactions were predictable. Like a little boy. But she found a comfort and familiarity in that predictability. One she appreciated more than ever today. Before Mulder could finish his message, she picked up the phone. 20 minutes later, he was there at her door. Not too surprisingly, he remembered nothing. To Mulder after all, it was only the first March 5th, not the 3rd. He listened to her tale once more, wide eyed and full of concern. Scully felt her wall of sanity crumbling away then steadied herself a little. She had fallen apart in front of Mulder yesterday. Thankfully he had no recollection of it. If nothing else, she would not play along and repeat the same mistakes twice. She was a medical doctor, a pathologist. Trained to scrutinize and solve mysteries by seeing what others could not. Thus resolved, she accepted Mulder’s offer of a ride, went in to bathe and got changed. Exiting her apartment, she turned to him. "So, Sanderlin & Mitchum are gonna take care of Frisch for me?" He looked at her, astonished, nodding his head slowly. "You heard all that from the shower?" She flashed him a wry smile. "No, Mulder, you told me today-the other today-yesterday." He nodded with an expression meant to convey understanding. Instead it belied confusion. At ease in the familiar surroundings of their shared office, Scully began to run things through her analytical mind. Mulder began explaining his need to visit the second, unreported crash site at the lake. Knowing the futility in arguing with her partner, Scully barely looked up. Before he even threw it, she held her hand at the ready and caught the newspaper he tossed her way. "Shit," he breathed, visibly impressed. "Maybe I should stay here, Scully." Frowning, she replied. "No, Mulder, whatever is happening to me, you somehow don’t seem to be key." She caught the hurt expression which flashed momentarily in his hazel eyes, and he turned to leave. Scully cursed herself for her insensitivity. With a tone that made him jump, she suddenly called out. "Mulder, wait- back away from the door!" "With a reflex that would have done any agent proud, Mulder moved away just as the door would have smacked him soundly in the nose. A custodian, visibly startled at seeing occupants in the office so early, begged an apology and shut the door behind him. Mulder stood there, mouth agape. Scully could not contain the self satisfied grin on her face. "Close your mouth Mulder." "I couldn’t let the door hit you again, your nose is big enough already." His eyes narrowed, and muttering something incoherent under his breath, he strode out the door. Scully laughed a little. Annoyed as he might act, she caught the flicker of amusement in his eyes when he left. Male ego would prevent him from thanking her or admitting as such, but Scully knew it had made an impression on him. Her expression went serious again as she studied the phone. No, important as Mulder was to her personally and professionally, somehow he was not at the heart of the problem she found herself in for the second time in as many days. Hand shaking a little bit, she picked up the phone and dialed once more. This time, she did not hang up. "Agent Pendrell, this is Agent Scully downstairs. Yes, hi how are you?" She gulped for a moment, a lump in her throat. "Pendrell, I was wondering, could I come up and talk with you for a moment?" "Oh, if you are busy, it’s OK.....I just no, it isn’t anything urgent, actually it’s more...personal." She stifled a smile. Mulder was right about Pendrell’s feelings. She could hear it in his flustered tone. "Yes, that would be great." She checked her watch. "No, I haven’t had anything to eat yet today." "OK I’ll see you in the commissary in a few minutes then, thank you." After hanging up the phone, Scully winced. Now what? She rubbed her temples thoughtfully. No, nice as he was, Pendrell would have Psych on her in a heartbeat if she started babbling on like that. And frankly, she wouldn’t blame him. If it were anyone (other than Mulder) she would do the same thing herself. She exhaled thoughtfully. Then it came to her. The chip! Scully took a sip of coffee & saw Agent Pendrell enter the cafeteria, scanning the room. His face brightened when he saw her, and Dana detected a slight flush in his cheeks as she waved him over. "Pendrell!" Seating himself across from her, he smiled broadly, then attempted to look serious. "So, Agent Scully, no Mulder?" The slight hopefulness in his voice was unmistakable. She returned the smile. "Oh, he’s off on assignment, chasing down the little gray bad guys." He nodded so seriously Scully wondered if he got the joke. "This doesn’t involve Agent Mulder, Pendrell....I need your help." Pendrell eyes widened, and he leaned forward a little. "Well then, what can I do for you Agent Scully?" After an uncomfortable pause, Scully chimed in. "I...it’s the chip they found in my neck." Undeterred, she went on. "I know you told me you thought any further study might damage it, but I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s worth the risk. I, uh, I really want to learn more about it, and I knew you could help me." Still, he smiled generously. "Of course, Agent Scully." His tone had shifted somewhat. "Anything I can do to be of assistance, Agent Scully, err...when did you need the results?" Scully bit her lip, slightly apprehensive. "Actually Pendrell, I was hoping you could do some work on it tonight." A battle was being fought behind those gray blue eyes, Scully could see it. Torn between duty and pride and something more... He considered her request. Nodding his head slowly, he agreed. "All right Agent Scully, but if you’ll excuse me, I’ll have to get going." Pendrell stood up and pushed his chair back in. "There’s a lot of things I need to accomplish before I’ll have the opportunity to work on the chip tonight." He must have sensed something because he turned and favored her with a friendly grin. Scully tried to murmur her appreciation, but waving his hand he interrupted. "It’s all right, Agent Scully. It’s not like I had any place to go tonight. I’ll phone you the instant I find anything." Dana sighed to herself as Pendrell left. She hadn’t intentionally planted the seed which resulted in his obvious disappointment. The important thing was that he wouldn’t be there at the Headless Woman if and when gunfire erupted tonight. Her eyes widened. "Shit" she breathed to herself. She needed to call & warn Sanderlin & Mitchum to change the meeting place. It would not help matters if one of them was murdered in Pendrell’s stead. They both had families. Once that had been taken care of she focused her attention on whiling away time in the office. Knowing she would pay for her leisure if in fact, tomorrow came as scheduled, Scully lingered over work in the basement. She caught up on filing, completed overdue expense reports and did some basic organization. She had lunch with her mother and even did a little window shopping before returning to the office. With Mulder gone, she even allowed herself the luxury of enjoying a little classical music. 6:00 rolled around and it occurred to her she hadn’t heard from Mulder. She racked her mind, trying to sift out the events from the first March 5th in her head. No, she wasn’t going to hear from Mulder. Not till tomorrow. Right now, he was probably heading out onto the lake in his rented boat. She should have reminded him to pay for the extra insurance he would be offered. He’d need it. She chuckled a little. Gathering up her things, she suppressed the urge to check on Pendrell. His word was enough. She knew he’d deprive himself of sleep before he would give up the task. She made a mental note to telephone him around midnight. By that time, he would be safely out of harm’s way and perhaps she would be one step closer to a new day. Dinner was uneventful. Dana relished the feeling of once again having control in her life. She considered going for a late night walk. It was a lovely evening. She checked the time. Only 11:00. Still a little early to risk letting him off the hook. Poor Pendrell. Giving up his evening without so much as a whimper, just to help her out. Of course, it made her feel better, knowing that his life was to be saved, but Scully still felt guilty. She decided to pop in on him at the lab with some food. If she knew Pendrell, Well, if he was as conscientious as she thought, she doubted he had eaten that day. She phoned in an order to a pizzeria that was on the way to the Federal Building. She threw on some casual clothes and headed out. She was unprepared for the sight which met her eyes as she pulled up to the Hoover Building. Several police cars, an ambulance & a crowd of people were gathered by the entrance, AD Skinner among them. He saw her pull up and motioned to her from the sidewalk. She parked on the street and hurried over. "Sir?" Skinner sighed. He knew given the particulars, Agent Scully was not going to take this well. Perhaps he’d spare her some of the less relevant details. "Agent Scully, there’s been an incident." He glared about him with disgust. "Apparently an as-yet unknown individual breached security & entered the Crime Lab. This person took possession of the chip which I believe Agent Pendrell had secured from you earlier." All the color drained from Scully’s face. "Is he?" Skinner looked down, without answering & Scully knew further questions were pointless. She sank her head into her hands, and felt the rush of blood, followed by the trickle. She brought her head back & met Skinner’s concerned gaze. "It’ll be all right Sir, really." Skinner began to object in what Scully knew would become an official order. Frustrated, she interrupted him before he could finish. "With all due respect Sir, I am a medical doctor and I believe, better qualified to make judgments as to the state of my health. I assure you that if the bleeding does not stop, I will seek appropriate medical attention. Until then, SIR, given this evenings events, I would like to go home. Unless you need me here? Shocked, perhaps by her blatant disregard of protocol, Skinner frowned grimly. "Negative, Agent Scully, we have no leads at the present time. You can...make it home all right on your own?" She nodded her head in response then marched back to her car. She could not afford to let Skinner see her falter. At home in bed, she prayed silently for answers. Answers she felt might never come. Why was she made to endure this living nightmare? She played with the idea of even having herself committed, but then brushed it aside. If she did, she knew Pendrell would be killed again and doubtless she would wake up in her own bed again the next day. Caught up in the futility of it all, she wept softly into her pillow, too tired to fear the dreams she knew would come with sleep. As the alarm clock rang at 5:30, Dana was surprised by how calm she was. Her pragmatic nature had taken over and she was determined to solve the riddle confronting her. Obviously she had been given the chance to save Pendrell’s life. How to do just that was the question she needed an answer for. The strangeness of her predicament was now becoming overshadowed by her familiarity with it. Dana felt reinvested. Knowing your enemy was half the battle, and she was nothing if not tenacious. It was torture each night that Pendrell died. Much as she longed to get back to the real world, she now began to cling to the hope that the next day would bring a repeated chance to save her fellow agent. She felt a surge of adrenaline as her thoughts became focused on the task at hand. She continued to feel that way for what she counted to be another 5 days. Her initial resolve to save Pendrell had weakened under the emotional and mental strain of being present while he died over & over again. She had established that the one necessity to saving Pendrell’s life was her proximity to him. So she stayed close at all times. If she was there with him she had an opportunity to save him. What she hadn’t counted on, while watching from a distance, was that it also gave her a front row seat to his agonizing, repeated demise. This last episode in particular, had been especially bad. No-one in the bureau could come up with a rationalization for the cold blooded murder of Pendrell in his own home. Dana began to get frantic. She knew mentally, emotionally, she would eventually crack under the strain of what she was going through. She got it into her head that perhaps instead of avoiding the place where he first was killed, she needed to go there and repeat the scene, but with a happier ending. To guarantee that, she had to be free of the prisoner. Using the usual excuses, she managed to avoid Mulder’s requests that she guard Frisch. This time, she tailed Pendrell back to the Headless Woman. A popular hangout for most of the local agents. Altering her strategy a little, she decided to approach him rather than stay in the background. He was delighted to see her, and insisted on buying her a birthday drink. Having lost an earlier opportunity to fate, Dana smiled and agreed. She felt a surge of electricity flow through her. Something felt different this time. The twinkle in his eyes when he spoke filled her with a sense of elation and purpose. This was it. It had to be! She grinned broadly as she watched him fumbling for his wallet at the bar. The nightmare was finally ending. She resolved that when he came back she would finally learn his first name. Maybe even relax a bit, get to know him a little. She found herself caught up in the lure of a promising friendship. She smiled again. She knew he had something of a crush on her, and while romance was not on her agenda, she had far too few dealings with decent people, and even fewer friendships. She resolved to change this. Pendrell brought over her cocktail. "Here you are, D.....Agent Scully!" He set it before her, and quickly excused himself for a moment. Dana didn’t even have the opportunity to ask his name before he hurried off in the direction of the restroom. "Don’t start without me," he urged, "I want to make a toast" then he disappeared behind the frosted doors. Dana regarded her drink and waited patiently. There was a slight swagger to Pendrell’s gait that hadn’t been there before. She smiled, biting on her lower lip a little. Maybe he sensed the change as well. She couldn’t wait to tell Mulder about everything tomorrow. She knew that for once, their positions would be reversed, she the believer & he the skeptic. Tomorrow. The word carried a lovely ring to it that had been missing for awhile. So lost in thought was she that when the first shot rang out it didn’t even register. But when the second and third followed, her FBI training reasserted itself in her mind. Reaching beneath her jacket, she immediately drew her Sig from its holster and jumped from her chair to the direction where the shooting had come from. The implication of gunfire making itself suddenly, painfully clear, she let go of her instincts and paused for a second. "No, not again, not now, please!" she begged of the unseen forces which were tormenting her. A man, dark eyed, possibly Hispanic, fled from the same doors Pendrell had recently entered. Catching his gaze, she responded instinctively, but those instincts were hampered by emotion. "FBI Stop!" She raised the sig, training it’s barrel on the retreating figure. As she narrowed her vision in preparation to shoot, her eyes widened. She heard the shot and felt a shudder rip through her. Thrown back, she fell to the floor. Stars flashed across her field of vision, and momentarily dazed, she tried to get up. As pain seared through her, she brought a hand to her abdomen. She could feel the blood pumping out of her body with every beat of her heart. She lay back, her medical training taking over, and pressed her hand securely against the wound. Pain from the pressure on the opening made her gasp for air. Oddly, she could not tell if there was an exit wound or not. Whether from pain or shock, she felt her hand growing heavy and let it fall from her abdomen. Before long the concerned faces of people swam above her. Yelling directions and fumbling around her, the Paramedics attempted to staunch the flow of blood. One of the figures leaned in closer, speaking loudly. She squinted her eyes to focus and met the fearful exasperated face of Assistant Director Walter Skinner. Weakly, she tried to speak. "Sir..." she breathed, "Agent Pendrell...is he...was he.." "Scully, you need to save your breath. Agent Pendrell walked in on a mugging and managed to save the victim." Scully let out a soft moan of despair and shut her eyes. Tears welled up behind closed lids. "He was shot several times but there are more EMT’s are with him, & his injuries don’t appear to be serious." Her eyes blinked open. "What?!" "He’s all right? He’s not..??" Skinner interrupted her. "I don’t think "all right" is the term I would use Agent Scully, but he will be." The weight of his words seemed incomprehensible. "Agent Scully?" Skinner sounded agitated. "Agent Scully?" Scully wondered what was wrong with him. Pendrell was OK. The nightmare was ending. Why did he look so worried? She started to get up and a blinding shear of pain twisted through her body. Scully choked for air and reached up to steady herself as her body spasmed, fire coursing through every nerve. Skinner grabbed a hold of her while the Paramedics responded frantically. Fear gripped her. Pendrell was OK but now she was going to die. Another seizure. Was this what the nights of tortured dreams had meant? She steadied herself against the rising tide of unconsciousness as her breathing grew ragged. So she had finally saved Pendrell. She had saved him. She saved him. He was safe. Another jolt of pain tore her from that thought. Oh, God, she didn’t want to die. It wasn’t supposed to end like this. Voices around her faded into static. She didn’t want to die here alone. It couldn’t end like this, not after everything she and Mulder had seen. Mulder!! His name on her lips was like a thunderclap. She couldn’t leave him again, so soon. There was so much unsaid, so many things undone. She cried out his name. "Oh Mulder." "I never told you ...." Weeping openly as the pain & darkness tried to envelop her she lashed out against it. "I should have told you..." "Mulder." His name was like a mantra, her talisman from the night. A hand squeezed tightly around hers and Scully opened her eyes. "Mulder?" Focusing she came upon the still and sorrowful face of Agent Pendrell. Ignoring the pain, she managed to coax her mouth into a tiny smile. And while it should have killed her to do so, she spoke, though barely audible. "P-Pendrell! You’re really OK...I saved you..." Tears running freely down his face, he brought his lips to her forehead and kissed her. No, Scully not yet. You’ve gone & messed things up a bit, it wasn’t supposed to happen like this. He spoke softly into her ear. We were close, Dana, very very close. But it’s not going to end like this, not here, not now, Because I know how to stop it. We’ll have one more chance, and you can save me yet. Not in the way you think. You can save us both Dana and give me release. But not here, not this way. Not this night. Her eyelids fluttered, growing heavy. She regarded him with a trace of confusion. It was difficult to focus. He let go of her hand for a moment and Scully saw a flash of metal. Feeling for his hand Scully touched the cold barrel of her sig in his grasp. Her eyes widened as he trailed a finger across her cheek. Her head begin to swirl around her and she faintly heard the yell of someone in the distance. She was fading quickly, and she was no longer afraid for herself. "Pendrell! NO!" His eyes were filled with so much love and so much longing. This is how I save you, Dana, he whispered. It’s supposed to be me, not you. She longed to comfort him, his eyes were so sad. She never lost sight of them as coldness engulfed her. Her breath failing, Dana sank her head to the floor, deaf to the final shot of gunfire as Pendrell’s body slumped across hers. Strangely, the last word in her mind and on her lips was Mulder. She was vaguely aware of a floating sensation. A presence-maybe people. Whirring and beeping and a rocking motion. Warmth on her face, tingling in her hands. Noises voices, but no words. None that she could understand. A quiet peace settling in and a soft hand upon her shoulder. Scully’s eyelids fluttered as she came to focus upon an unfamiliar, but gentle face. Seeing her eyes open, he smiled. "How are you feeling, Miss Scully?" Her face must have registered some confusion. "The nurses asked me to look in on you. I’m the chaplain here at County, and they said you were having some rather fierce nightmares. Would you like to talk about it?" Scully sized him up with a dubious eye. No stranger to confession, the idea of unburdening her heart to a stranger had it’s merit. She sighed softly. "Yes, I’d like that." "Excuse me, I failed to properly introduce myself. My name is Hank Aaronson, please call me Hank." She could not suppress a grin, and he caught it, nodding ruefully. "Yeah, I know. My father was a baseball fan. Unfortunately I could never live up to my namesake." He smiled warmly, and Scully felt instantly at ease. He was younger than most of the Priests she knew, and his presence had a calming effect on her. "Where would you like to begin, Miss Scully?" "Dana." "All right, Dana it is. I understand you were present when one of your fellow agents....died, and you were seriously injured as well?" Dana nodded, unsure of how much to tell him. She decided to go with a more theoretical approach. "It’s just that I have had a feeling of..foreboding for some time. It’s like I knew something bad was going to happen, but no matter how hard I tried, I could not prevent it. No matter what I did, it always turned out the same. And now Agent Pendrell is dead and I feel so lost. I didn’t save him." Father Hank nodded thoughtfully. "It’s never easy to lose somebody. Were you close?" Her eyes began to sting a little, and she bit her lip to keep it from quivering. "No, we weren’t close exactly. I mean, I think he liked me, and I know he was a good agent & a decent guy. I liked him, but I don’t think I could say that we were close. I mean, I didn't know his first name." "So you regret that, feel guilty??" She looked to Hank, pondering the weight of his words. "I mean, you have seen other Agents, fall, yes, they all know the risks & responsibilities?" She nodded her assent. "But somehow Pendrell is different--perhaps you regret not knowing him better? "Your conscience bothers you more with this one." "You failed him in his life so you are torturing yourself with his death?" Dana could not meet the gaze of the minister. "Yes, she whispered meekly. "I failed him." "Miss Scully, he began, Have you considered that it was not your place to save him?" She looked up quickly, her eyes flashing. Before she could speak, he continued. "Excuse the assumption, but I noticed your necklace and supposed you to be a person with some measure of faith?" Taking her silence as a form of agreement, he continued. "Well, Dana, people on this earth die, and sometimes we can save them, sometimes we cannot. Realizing this cannot ease the pain of loss but it should make acceptance easier to bear. You cannot change a man’s destiny, only the way in which it is perceived. It seems to me Agent Pendrell died doing what he felt was right. Another life was saved that night, was it not?" "Yes," Scully, blurted out, but I knew he was going to die and I should have stopped it." "Death in this life is an inescapable part of living, it’s what gives life meaning, Miss Scully. Don’t try to lessen the meaning of your friend's sacrifice. I’m sure he would have willingly given his to save yours and you in turn would have done the same were it in your power?" "Yes, of course, but..." "No buts then, Miss Scully. All prayers are answered, just sometimes the answer is no. It’s not our place to question the reasons, just accept the truths. Do your best for one another in life, and then even death cannot diminish the love you give your fellow man." Dana opened her mouth to speak, then paused as Hank’s words echoed in her mind, bringing with it a faint and foggy memory. Her father, advising her to live well and cherish each moment. "Second chances." "What was that?" he asked her. She looked up, unaware that she had spoken aloud. "Second chances. I realize that in life we are so seldom given second chances, and even when we do, rarely is it taken advantage of, or appreciated." "Father...Hank, I don’t know if I am going crazy, or dreaming or what, but I think I understand a little better now. Thank you." He looked a little bewildered. Obviously he was unused to his charges responding so quickly. "OK then Miss Scully. If you need me for anything, just ring the nurse." "I will Father, thank you." She closed her eyes as he shut off the light, unafraid of dreams, praying for one more chance. When the alarm went off, she hesitated. Too scared to look at it, she clenched her eyes shut, and took a deep breath. 5:30 a.m. She exhaled with relief, and slid to get out of her bed. Slipping into her sweats, she grabbed her tennis shoes & headed for the living room. (Please let this work. Please let him be there) Closing the door behind her, she trod softly down the hall. As the crisp morning air hit her, she inhaled deeply. The certainty she felt was unlike any other . Doing a few quick stretches to limber up her muscles, she headed towards the jogging trail. As she ran, she scanned the trails for any sign of Pendrell. She began to doubt her instincts until rounding a bend, she ran into him, paused & stretching his calf muscles. "Ooops! Sorry!" "As he steadied himself then straightened up he turned, the annoyed look on his face changed to one of wide eyed delight. "Agent Scully!" "You know Pendrell, most people prefer to actually jog on the jogging trails." His face turned red. "Uh, ah, I know, I just, uh, I was getting, uh, my leg had a cramp, and uh,...." Scully laughed. "It’s Ok Pendrell, I’m a doctor, I understand." "But if you’re done with your stretching I can tell you that the best thing for you to do is to continue running." She eyed him carefully, one brow raised ever so slightly. "If you can." His own eyebrows raising, Pendrell’s face took on a markedly competitive air. "That sounds an awful lot like a challenge, Agent Scully." "It IS a challenge, Agent Pendrell." Dana overemphasized the "Agent". "I realize it’s difficult to stay in shape when you’re not out working in the field.." she teased. He wrinkled his nose at her. "Oh you mean like when I am running back & forth between Quantico & the labs & crime scenes gathering evidence & data for people who haven’t got the faintest idea of how time consuming accurate research can be??" Dana's face nearly dropped. She had never heard Pendrell speak to her in anything other than the reverent lovesick tone he always used. This was something new. Feisty. She liked it immediately. "You mean like that?" Her bemused expression continued & so did he. "Because you know I was thinking the other day how most people in the field seem pretty ineffective without their partners to back them up." Scully put her hands on her hips. "Oh is that what you were thinking?" "Uh huh." His grin was as evident in his voice as it was in his face. "Did it hurt??" "What?" "Thinking?" "Oh now that was a low blow, Agent Scully." She grinned. "Looking for a chance to defend your honor, Pendrell?" "More than you know, Agent Scully." "All right, she began, turning slowly as if to stretch. "Last one to the park exit buys breakfast!" With that, she whirled around and sprinted down the path. It took Pendrell a moment to realize he had been psyched out, then he burst after her, rising to the challenge. "Cheater," he called out after her. Dana didn’t even pause to look back. While she was a pretty good runner, she knew her legs were shorter, and any man in halfway decent shape would have a distinct advantage. Sensing that Pendrell was in fact, in pretty good shape, she urged herself on faster. It was a matter of minutes before she sensed him growing closer, about to catch up with her. She feinted to the left, attempting to cut him off. She succeeded. Sort of. She did in fact, cut him off. However, unable to break his momentum, Pendrell ran into her, virtually tackling her and knocking them both to the ground. "Ow!" "Shit." "That hurt!" "Well thanks for blocking me!" "Well thanks for bringing me down with you!" She turned to meet his gaze. Pendrell actually looked concerned. Unable to restrain herself, she burst out laughing. After momentary confusion, Pendrell joined in, chuckling good naturedly. He got himself up, then reached out a hand to Scully. Tentatively, she took it. As he helped her to her feet, she looked him squarely in the eye. She was still holding his hand, she realized when his face became flushed. Her laughter subsided, she gently released his hand. "Pendrell?" "Yeah, Scully?" "What’s your first name?" He paused, the expression on his face akin to that of a kid who had not done his homework in school. "What?" "Your first name, Pendrell? You do have a first name? Something that goes before Pendrell?" "Rrr robert, uh, Bbbobby..." he stammered. "Well which do you prefer, Robert or Bobby?" she queried. "Um, well my mom calls me Robert, but my friends call me Bobby." "Bobby it is then," she replied. "At least, off duty anyway." She smiled. It was endearing how flustered he seemed by being the focus of her attention. "So do we call it a draw, then, Agent Scully?" He inquired. "Off duty, Bobby, you can call me Dana, OK? I get enough 'Scully' from my partner. It's nice to be reminded of my first name now & again." His face nearly split open from the wide grin he favored her with. "Well then, 'Dana'...are you still up for some breakfast?" She cocked her head to one side and eyed him quizzically. "Are you conceding then?" "Only to my stomach, Dana, only to my stomach." Breakfast was a pleasure. Scully had such a good time she almost hated to leave. She discovered Bobby to be a good listener with a ready wit and a gentle spirit. Along with their shared scientific backgrounds she discovered they had other things in common. His father was a Navy pilot, & they had even spent time at Miramar. When he asked her to have lunch with him, a part of her, the old Dana Scully,wanted to decline. But for some reason, she could not. This could be your last chance, she warned herself. Once home, getting herself ready for work, she was startled by the telephone. She swore as she realized who it probably was. "Scully" she answered somewhat hesitantly. "Where have you been," Mulder urged her, "do you know what time it is?" Mulder's indignant tone put her on the defensive. "Yes I do, Mulder," she huffed, "it's (she looked at her watch-shit!) it's 9:00, I'm on my way in." "I've been trying to reach you Scully, I was starting to get worried-are you all right?" The obvious wory in his voice took Scully's anger down a few notches. "I'm fine, Mulder," she answered, "I just, had to some personal things I needed to take care of." "I'm sorry I didn't have time to call you, but it was important. Something personal." He started to speak again, somewhat relieved. She interrrupted him. "Look, Mulder I'll be in the office in a few minutes. Can we discuss Frisch & the crash site then?" She knew she had caught him off guard when he remained silent. "Uh, ok then Scully, see you in a little while." Without speaking further, Scully hit end and hung up her phone. She wasn't trying to hurt Mulder, but she couldn't shake the sense of urgency. She had little patience with a case she knew would ultimately end in another coverup. Her meeting with Mulder went the same as it had every other time. Except this time, Scully decided to forego any mention of her experience. Mulder remained characteristically bubbly over the potential discovery of a crashed UFO. She saw no point in making him feel otherwise., and remained calm & inexpressive. When he asked her to keep tabs on Frisch, she told him she would pick him up later. "Have Sanderlin or Mitchum stay with him," she suggested. Mulder's eyes widened, but her tone spoke volumes and he conceded. Seeing this, Scully felt generous & warned him before the door could smack his nose again. After which he regarded her with a somewhat bewildered expression, before exiting. Once the door closed, Scully breathed a sigh of relief. She had begun to feel suffocated by Mulder's concern for her. Any other day she would have been touched by such a display, particularly from him. Not today. Once more, she found herself busying herself about the office, anxiously passing the time. At 11:00 the telephone rang. "Scully." There was a moment of silence and she considered hanging up the phone. A voice cleared his throat. "Uh, yes, Agent Scully? This is Agent Pendrell, down in the Crime Lab. I have that, uh, information you requested, and uh, I was wondering if you needed me to bring it to you." Dana grinned. Pendrell was the picture of discretion. Not that was anything they particularly needed to be discreeet about, but she knew the bureau. "I appreciate that, Agent Pendrell. May I suggest you meet me at a more secure location?" She knew she had thrown him off guard when he paused again. But when he spoke she could hear the excitement in his tone. "Yes, Agent Scully, that would be satisfactory. Where would you like me to bring this and at what time?" She checked her watch. "How about I meet you over at Dunaways, say around noon?" "Sounds great!" "OK Pendrell, I'll see you then." "All right. Good bye." He hung up. Scully slowly returned the handset into its cradle. Sinking into a chair, she closed her eyes. Her initial giddiness replaced by a sudden surge of dread, she prayed for strength. Lunch was very pleasant if somewhat brief. Scully managed to beat Pendrell to the check when the waitress brought it, an obvious affront to his personal sense of chivalry or something. "So where are you taking me out tonight then?" Pendrell looked astonished. She favored him with a 40 carat smile. "You don't expect me to consider this lunch as my birthday present do you?" "No, no, of course not, he beamed, not as you're paying for it and all. "You really want to have dinner tonight?," he asked, hopefully. Scully looked down. "Actually," she began. Pendrell looked as if he had received his heart's desire only to have it ripped away. She caught the change in his expression and consoled him. "Hey, Pendrell, it's not that, let me finish! Yes, I would love to have dinner with you tonight. "If you turn me down I will take it as a personal affront. HowEVER, she emphasized, I will have to meet Sanderlin or Mitchum and take a witness into custody later tonight. "So what I wanted to tell you was just that we would need to have a kind of early dinner." Pendrell bit his lip and beamed at her. "All right then, you name the place. It's your birthday we'll be celebrating." Scully hesitated. She could not make that decision. The consequences weighed too heavy on her mind. Her heart began to beat faster. "Uh, Bobby, she began, why don't you pick the place. Surprise me if you'd like." He considered this and agreed. "This has been an amazing day, Dana, thank you." He looked at her from lowered lids, his blue eyes shining brightly. Dana felt a lump forming in her throat. She reached across the table and squeezed his hand. "You need directions to my place?" He blushed. "Well, at the risk of scaring you away, Dana, I don't." She smiled. Somehow this news neither surprised nor bothered her. "OK then, so I will see you around.....?" "How about 6:00?" "Perfect. I have to go now, thanks for a really enjoyable lunch. See you soon Bobby." Dana walked away quickly. Unfortunately, she didn't have a logical answer. But logic hadn't been figuring too predominantly in her life the past week. A comment Mulder once made crossed her mind. "Sometimes the only sane answer in an insane world is insanity." Or something like that. She shook her head a little, regained her composure. She decided not to return to the office. She immediately crushed any feelings of guilt, reasoning that in this world, it was the first day she'd played hookey in a long while. She briefly considered going to confession, but dismissed the idea. No, whatever happened tonight would determine the course of her faith. And her sanity. She had to trust in her own heart this time, and the idea terrified her. True to form, Bobby arrived promptly at 6:00. Dana had opted for a business casual look and was pleased to see him dressed in kind. She entertained the notion of asking him in, but decided against it. That was not the direction she intended to go in, it was too out of character for her. And probably for Bobby as well, she mused. She tried to concentrate on dinner, but found herself constantly scanning the restaurant. Alert for any disturbances, potential threats. There were none. For his part, Pendrell didn't seem to notice, or if he did, he didn't mind. He had taken her a very nice restaurant. Nothing elaborate, but good food & a pleasant atmosphere. She was just finishing up when a waitress came over, flanked by coworkers, carrying a dessert alight with a single candle. Dana turned red and threw Pendrell her patented Scully look, offset only by a tiny smile. He responded with a sheepish grin. "I knew you'd probably hate this, but we are celebrating!" When the crowd had dispersed, and the other guests finished clapping, he turned to her. "Happy Birthday, Dana, sorry that it's late." "It's all right Bobby, she whispered, "I'm just glad that we've had this time together." "Thank you for a lovely birthday dinner." He didn't seem to have the words, but rather, reached over to give her hand a small squeeze. When he released it, she looked up, and he handed her a small pink rose. It was still a bud, perfect in it's simplicity & beauty. She was truly touched. She breathed in the exquisite aroma, closing her eyes. Dana started to speak, but Bobby got up and paused behind her, helping her out of her chair. "Thank you, Dana, he urged. "You have no idea how much I have enjoyed this day." "How much it has meant to me." "If I were hit by a car right now I could die a happy man." Scully whirled round, her eyes ablaze with horror and shock. "Bobby!!" "What a horrible thing to say!!" "I'm sorry, Agent Scu...Dana, I didn't mean anything by it..." Tears welled up in her eyes, and began to roll down her face. "Oh jeez, Dana, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to...." He tried to gently brush a tear away, as she turned her head down, embarassed at the extent of her reaction to such a minor comment. She bit her lower lip and looked up at him. "No, I'm sorry Bobby, for ruining a perfect day. I don't know what came over me." She sniffled a little. Feeling a bit awkward, Bobby escorted her outside. "So what time did you say you had to pick up this witness guy?" "I'm meeting Sanderlin at the Headless Woman Bar at 9:00." "You still have a little time then, and we aren't too far from there, would you like me to walk you over?" Dana thought about it. Taking a deep breath, she uttered. "I'd love that, Bobby. But no hurry." She smiled, and he returned it with a happy grin of his own. They strolled along the Washington streets, chatting away as if they had been friends for years. Turning onto Capitol Circle, they shifted to a companionable silence. They walked up and past the Rosemont Theatre, where Titanic was still playing. Gesturing with his head, Bobby asked her if she had seen it. Dana nodded eagerly. "Mmmm, it was so much better than I had expected in so many ways," she enthused. "I think, being a Navy brat, I'm almost immediately drawn to any film with a nautical theme. and even as a kid I was drawn in by the beauty and tragedy of the story." "I was pretty close to my father, we shared our love of the sea with one another." "Sometimes when he was away, it bothered me to think that i might be less upset that he was gone than because I knew he was out there on the ocean..." Scully's eyes took on a faraway look. "But now I know it was a combination of both. I wanted to be out there too, but with him." She looked over at Pendrell. "Were you close to your father?" He nodded a little then began to speak. "When I was younger he had plans for me to follow in his footsteps--plans I encouraged. His whole life seemed so exciting to me. But when the time came, we learned that it was an impossibility. My vision, coupled with a minor heart condition, would prevent me from ever flying. And if I couldn't go to flight school, well my heart just wasn't in it." He sighed softly. "I know he never tried to let his disappointment show, but we had spent so much of my life together looking forward to my future, that when the future changed, our past vanished. I know he's proud of my achievements in the bureau, but i also know it's not the same." Dana couldn't help but think that she & Bobby were kindred souls. It wasn't only the Navy connection, it was their entire approach to life, work and even the things which drove and motivated them. She felt her eyes begin to mist as they approached the appointed destination. People were wandering in and out of the bar. She wasn't ready to give him up just yet. "Bobby lets go sit over there, for a moment." She motioned to a bench across the street in a small neighborhood park. "It's still a bit early to meet Sanderlin, and it's so nice outside." She linked her arm in his as they crossed the street. Her action surprised him abit but he took it as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Seated beside one another they continued the conversation. Bobby related some humorous stories from his training at Quantico and they shared a laugh over Mulder's enduring "Spooky" reputation and moniker at the Academy. When their laughter subsided a little, Pendrell got serious. "But you know Dana, as much as he was made fun of, everyone always respected his brilliance." "Some of us were more in awe of his partner, though." She fixed him with a friendly, but suspicious look. "But who could ever compete with "Spooky" Mulder?" he added somewhat wistfully. Dana caught the change in his tone and tried to lighten things up a bit. "Well, for starters, he'd have to be brilliant, preferably a scientist." She grinned, seeing that her comments were having the desired effect. "And it wouldn't hurt for him to be able to relate to my childhood." Bobby snickered softly and began to nod his head a little. "And he'd have to be the kind of guy who wouldn't mind being beaten at jogging." Bobby interjected. "You mean the kind of guy who'd LET you beat him in jogging?" Dana turned towards him with a superior air. "Oh, no, I mean when I beat him." "Mercilessly." "Ruthlessly." "Skillfully." "Oh, you mean, by cheating? Like say, by giving yourself a head start?" Her eyes widened in a look of feigned innocence. She brought a hand to her chest as if to say "who...me? cheat?" Seeing it wasn't working, she gave up. "Yeah, exactly." Bobby laughed out right and Scully joined in. The laughter broke when they noticed Agent Sanderlin enter the pub with Frisch in tow. The expression on her face must have revealed her apprehension. "Well, Dana, looks like it's time to go. I doubt that Agent Sanderlin likes to be kept waiting. She got up quickly and as Pendrell started to get up as well, she held him back with one hand on his shoulder "Pendrell....Bobby...you don't have to come with me, you know. It's been a wonderful evening but this is work now, and I don't want you to feel obligated or...." Bobby cut her off. "Don't be silly, Dana, of course I want to come with you. Truth be told this is where I probably would have been anyway, if we hadn't had such a wonderful evening. I live a few blocks away from here." He started to get up again, but Dana's hand remained fast on his shoulder. "Are you sure?" Bobby chuckled. "Sure I'm sure, Dana, you couldn't keep me away. I still owe you that birthday drink." She looked down, surprised by his choice of words. He looked up to see her eyes fixed upon him. She held his gaze with her own, her eyes a deep unreadable pool of emotion. They stayed like that for what seemed an eternity. Dana blinked, and brought her hand from his shoulder to the side of his face. "If you're sure then Bobby...." He nodded. "If you're sure then, Bobby, she repeated, then so am I." Without any further words, she leaned in towards him & planted a gentle kiss on the side of his cheek. Drawing back a little she saw the flicker of love and surprise in his expression. The depth of emotion she felt at that moment emboldened her. Again, she leaned in towards him, and Bobby met her lips with his own. She closed her eyes and gave herself to the moment. It was a tender kiss. A chaste kiss, but a loving one nonetheless. As his lips brushed against hers, soft and warm, Dana felt suddenly, inexplicably faint. Her entire body was warm tingling, her blood pounding in her veins. Her body shivered in his arms and he gently laid her on the ground. "Ssssh, he whispered as he saw the expression of fear in her eyes. "It's all right." "I won't put you through through it again, you've been through it enough..." He got up and turned as if to go. Then, thinking the better of it, he leaned down towards her. Bobby took Dana's chin in his hands, his touch a feather light whisper and kissed her once more. Dana gasped inwardly as her mind began to reel. "Thank you..." he whispered, his fingers trailing gently down the contours of her cheek. "You've no idea....." Stunned, frozen, unable to speak, Dana watched as Bobby slowly faded into the night. And then he was gone. Her mind reeling, she closed her eyes and sank into oblivion. In this dream she was no longer afraid, just apprehensive- sad. She grabbed hold of Bobby's hand, refusing to let it go. She began to whimper softly, urging him to stay. "Bobby wait...." He turned towards her, his face alight with a calm and gentle smile. He shook his head as if to say "I'm sorry" then mouthed the word, "Goodbye" The lightness faded into black, a darkness blanketed with a million dots of light. "Bobby!" She shouted. "Scully? SCULLY!, are you all right?" She blinked her eyes and met the concerned gaze of her partner. "Mulder?" He breathed a heavy sigh of relief. "Scully are you all right? You must have passed out on me here or something." "When I came out of the trailer you were lying here. He brought a tissue out of his pocket. It looks like maybe you fainted and hit your nose, there's a little blood." Gingerly he wiped away the trickle of blood from her nose. "Are you sure you're all right? I can have Sharon call the paramedics." Scully tried to give him her best "I'd like to see you try" look. "I'm fine. Really." His expression was dubious at best. "But if you wouldn't mind, I'd appreciate a little help getting up." Mulder looked embarrassed and helped her to her feet, hesitant to let go until she had steadied herself. "Thanks Mulder." "Were you thinking about Pendrell?" Silent, she turned up to look at the stars. "Why do you say that, Mulder?" "Well, it's been a pretty bad couple of days and when you were coming out of it, you said Bobby." "Bobby?" She kept her gaze upon the stars, a lump in her throat. "Yeah, Bobby. That was Agent Pendrell's first name. I didn't realize you two really knew each other that well." Coming from anybody else, Dana might have supected a hint of jealousy in his tone. Coming from Mulder, Dana knew it was just partnerly concern. A friend looking out for a friend. That's all it ever was or most likely ever would be. She sighed. But the events with Bobby were too fresh, too painful in her mind to consider. She decided to change the subject. "Actually, I was thinking about the gift that you gave me for my birthday." She fished it out of her pocket, and turned it over in her hands, examining it. "You never did get to tell me why you gave it to me or what it means....." She paused expectantly, and Mulder took the keychain from her hands. He repeated her motion, flipping it over in his palm and examining both sides. Dana put her hands inside her coat pockets to keep them warm and waited for his response. "Uh, well, you know what a space nut i was when I was a kid, Scully," he began. She felt something in her left side pocket. "The Apollo 11 landing was such a turning point in history, a real beginning for the space program. If you consider all the achievements made during that time and the superhuman efforts and the perseverance-the teamwork required to bring fruition to such a hopeless cause well, you'd have to recognize...." Scully pulled her hand slowly out of her coat pocket. "Nobody can accomplish great deeds without great sacrifices and without the help and support of their team mates and partners..." Carefully, she opened her hand. In it was a tiny pink rosebud, perfect in its simplicity & beauty. She brought the flower to her nose and inhaled deeply, closing her eyes. "And we cannot forget those in our lives who have made and still make such sacrifices to make those achievements and leaps possible..." He paused, satisified and rather pleased with himself for his explanation. Merriment twinkled in Scully's eyes. "And to think I thought you chose it just because it was a pretty cool keychain." Mulder stared at her with disbelief for a second then burst in laughter. Scully joined in and he reached his arm around her shoulders affectionately. She put her hand upon his and squeezed. Leaning her head back onto his chest, they both gazed up into the heavens together. A solitary light flashed across the sky, then disappeared into the darkness.