The Perils of Pendrell
by Laura Maher
laurama142@aol.com

Summary:  As you may have suspected, there is much more to our intrepid Agent
Pendrell than meets the eye...

Disclaimer:  If any of these characters belonged to me, my secretary would be
typing this in my palatial Beverly Hills home while I sat in my jacuzzi
watching the sunset and sipping something tropical. These characters do
belong to Chris Carter, Fox and 1013 Productions, and have been used without
permission.  I swear on my future investment portfolio that I intend no
copyright infringement.

Rating: PG
Classification: H

XXXXXX

Another stakeout.  Another small town.

It was well past midnight when they first saw the lights.  Certain that they
would see nothing, Scully was nearly to the REM stage she so longed for when
the strange buzzing sound demanded that she return to consciousness.  She
looked over at Mulder, who craned his neck to see through the windshield, his
mouth agape.

Scully realized that her mouth was a little on the agape side too.  Good
Grief, she thought. (Scully never used profanity when thinking.)   What she
saw hovering high over their car was no helicopter, no low-flying ultra
secret test plane.  Could this, finally, be a real UFO?  Scully pinched
herself to make sure she wasn't dreaming.  She stopped because it really
hurt.  She'd have to remember not to do it so hard next time.

Suddenly, the car engine turned over and the radio came on full blast.  Damn
it!  Was  it mere coincidence that the radio was always tuned to a new-wave
station when these alleged alien close encounters happened?  Waking up to
Yanni blasting at top volume was as frightening as the possibility that some
gruesome, slimy alien might knock on the car window and ask for directions at
any moment.

Mulder turned off the radio and reached over to grasp Scully's arm without
looking away from the hovering ship.

"Scully, do you see what I see?"

"I do, Mulder.  I hate to admit it, but that looks like a UFO.  A real,
honest-to-goodness UFO. What do we do?  Call for backup?"

Mulder finally looked over at her.

"Scully, your mouth is agape!  Are you okay?"

Scully closed her mouth.  "Sure, Mulder.  Just surprised, that's all.  I
never actually expected to see anything."

Scully took her phone from her bag.

"Wait a minute, Scully.  I want to get a closer look at this thing before we
bring anybody else in on it.  Let's make sure this isn't another hoax."
 Mulder checked his gun.  "It looks like it's going to land behind that tree
line.  Come on, let's go check it out."

Reluctantly, Scully opened the car door and followed Mulder across the dark
meadow toward the line of trees in the distance.  Through the trees, the
lights from the ship caused an eerie glow to be cast.  The strange humming
sound grew louder as they approached the light.

Entering the forest, they crouched down behind a boulder to get a better
look.  Scully's heart was pounding.

The ship was circular, with a silver dome on the top.  Actually, it looked a
lot like the Robinson Family's ship from "Lost in Space".  Mulder loved that
show.  He never missed it growing up.  He had wanted to *be* Will Robinson in
a big way.  Okay, those outfits were pretty stupid, but they got a little
better when the show went to color.  Mulder wondered for a moment why velour
had never made a big comeback.

Scully shook him by the arm.  "Mulder, what is it?  Are you all right?  It's
like you were in a trance there for a minute!"

"Sorry, Scully, just thinking."

The ship continued its distinct humming sound, the white lights around its
perimeter flashing in an organized row.

Scully looked at her partner skeptically.  "Mulder, if this is a hoax, it's a
pretty amazing one. What do you think?  Could this be the real thing?"

Mulder watched Scully happily.  She actually looked excited by this whole
thing.  He'd turn her into a believer yet.  He tried to look serious.

"I think it just may be, Scully."

Scully looked back at the ship, admiring the way the lights flashed so
symmetrically.  Scully loved symmetry.

Mulder's joy at watching Scully fall under the believer spell quickly
vanished as he felt the cold, alien metal of what he assumed was some deadly,
alien ray gun pressing against the base of his skull.

"Just what do you two think you're doing?," said a scary, most probably alien
voice.

Mulder and Scully turned to each other.  They didn't need words.  Their eyes
said it all.

"Uh-oh", said their eyes.

XXXXXXX

"Drop your guns now," said the alien voice.


Slowly, Mulder and Scully did as they were told.

"Now," said the alien, "put your hands on the tops of your heads and turn
around."

As they turned slowly, they looked up into the face of what just might be the
first real alien they had ever gotten this close to.  Well, there was that
time in the mine when Scully had gotten really close to those little tiny
alien-like things that ran right across her feet, but she and Mulder had
never actually discussed that.  She kept meaning to tell him about it, but
something always came up...

The alien was small - barely an inch or two taller than Scully.  He wore a
helmet with a dark visor which disguised his face, and a jumpsuit made of
some shiny yet fashionable alien fabric.  A utility belt was wrapped around
his waist from which hung a small black box.  The belt was held together by a
silver-colored buckle.  The alien's arms and hands were covered with long
silver gloves.  If this wasn't a real alien, it was somebody with a very
serious costume.

"Who are you and what are you doing here?"  said the alien.  Though his face
was hidden, it sounded as if he were sneering.

"My name is Fox Mulder, and this is my partner, Dana Scully."  Scully nodded
politely.  "We're with the FBI."

"FBI?" asked the alien.

"Federal Bureau of Investigation.  You know, federal police."  Mulder
swallowed the giant lump forming in his throat.

"Federal police?  I have no idea what the heck you're talking about.  You two
were spying on us."

Scully saw this conversation going nowhere fast.  "We were just curious.  Our
car was parked over there, and we saw your ship land.  We just came over to
see...."

"Enough!"  shouted the alien.  "I don't mean to be rude, but I've had a tough
day and I've heard enough of your nonsensical talk.  I'm taking you back to
the ship.  Now, march!"

Mulder couldn't decide whether to be joyful or terrified.   Boarding an alien
ship?  This was beyond his wildest dreams!  They might be facing some
horrible, torture-filled death,  might be experiencing their last few hours
in this life, but this was *totally* worth it!  He turned to Scully, a huge
grin lighting up his face.

Apparently, Scully didn't share his enthusiasm.  She looked downright
worried.  And maybe a little angry.  Mulder quickly thought back over the
previous hour to try and figure out how their present predicament could be
held against him in the future  - if they survived.  Hmm... Stakeout, not his
fault - assignment.  They weren't even here looking for UFO's, just narcotics
smugglers.  No, couldn't think of anything...  Wait!  Damn it!  Scully wanted
to call for backup and he'd told her to hold off.  Doggone it!  Why did he
never listen?

Though Scully didn't normally hold these sorts of things against him, at
least not to his face, he wondered if she kept some sort of list in a
computer file at home to use against him at some future time.  He wouldn't
blame her, really.

The alien shoved Scully, who had started to fall behind a little.  "Move
faster, female!" he shouted angrily.

"Hey!"  Mulder was pissed.  "Don't touch her again!"  Though Scully wasn't
big into chivalry, Mulder figured he couldn't do too much on her behalf at
this point.  He gave her a weak smile. She glared at him.

The alien turned to Mulder.  "Okay, you're right, I'm sorry - it won't happen
again.  But we must hurry!  There can be no dawdling!"

They were directly in front of the ship now.  The humming here was louder,
and the lights were almost blinding, making it impossible for them to look
directly at the ship.

The alien removed the small black box from his utility belt.  Pointing it at
the ship, he pressed a white button on the top of the box and stepped back.

A hidden door suddenly appeared and began to open with a quiet whooshing
sound.  The top half of the door opened upward as the bottom half lowered,
creating a ramp.   Scully looked over at Mulder, determination in her eyes.
 She was *not* going to set foot on that ship.  She didn't care what sort of
wondrous discoveries might be there.

Mulder read her look and nodded slightly.  Silently counting to three, she
turned suddenly, startling the alien, kicking him squarely in the utility
belt and knocking his weapon to the ground. Mulder quickly reached down for
the spare gun he carried in his ankle holster and pointed it at the alien's
head.

Mulder looked at the alien with as threatening a face as he could muster.
 "We don't want to hurt you.  We're going to walk away from the ship, and if
you follow us, you're a dead extra-terrestrial. Got it?"

The alien's shoulders slumped.  He looked disappointed.

"Yes," he said sadly.  "I understand.  You'd better go now and you'd better
go fast if you don't want us to abduct you and take you to our home planet.
 My comrades in the ship, though kind and humane without a mean bone in their
bodies, might not be as understanding as I am."

"Thank you," said Mulder.  "We appreciate your candor."

"No problem," said the alien.  "Have a nice day, and please, let's keep this
little meeting to ourselves, shall we?"

"Like anybody'd believe this, anyway," muttered Scully.

The alien entered the ship, and the door closed with the now-familiar
whooshing sound. Suddenly, the pulsating of the ship's lights grew faster,
more furious.  A strange sound began to emanate from the ship's dome.

Mulder grabbed Scully's arm.  "Come on, Scully, let's get the hell out of
here. Run!"

They ran as fast as they could back in the direction they had come.
 Crouching down behind the same boulder they had hidden behind earlier, they
watched as the ship rose into the sky.  The sound of the ship's engine grew
louder and more highly-pitched, and as the ship reached an altitude above the
trees, it disappeared with such intense speed that a sonic boom erupted.

The clearing was suddenly deadly quiet, as were Mulder and Scully, who
continued to look into the sky, searching for any sign of the ship.

"Wow,"  said Scully.

XXXXXX

Several minutes passed before either of them said a word.

Mulder spoke first.  "You know, Scully, that alien was much more polite than
I would have expected.  Maybe the irrational fears we've developed, which are
based on popular science-fiction movies and books, are all wrong.  Maybe the
majority of extra-terrestrial beings are kind and well-mannered, not
threatening in the least!"

Scully turned to Mulder, her brow wrinkled.  Mulder looked at her, resigned
to his fate.  Scully's forehead only wrinkled like that when she was
rationalizing.

"Mulder, I know what you're thinking, and I agree that this experience was
really, really strange, but we have no proof of any of this being a close
encounter with an actual alien being.  As usual, we have no real evidence."

Mulder rolled his eyes.  "Scully, how can you say that?  A little while ago,
you were convinced this was the real thing!  I could see it in your eyes!
 How do you explain the ship we just saw fly away at warp speed?  How do you
explain the alien?  Can't you believe your own eyes?"

Scully sighed.  "No, Mulder, I can't.  I'm sorry, but even after all the
unbelievably strange things we've seen in the last few years, I still firmly
believe there are rational explanations for everything we've experienced.  My
middle name is "Denial", Mulder!  I am a skeptic and I shall remain a skeptic
until the day I die."

Smiling, Mulder put his hand on Scully's shoulder.  "It's okay, Scully.
 Skepticism is one of the things I love about you."  He paused.  "When I say
love, I mean it in a completely platonic way, of course."

Scully nodded.  "Of course, Mulder.  I'm very platonically fond of several of
your personality quirks, too."

"Gee, thanks, Scully.  I'm glad we had this little talk."

"Me too, Mulder.  Now, why don't we go look around the alleged alien landing
site and see if we can collect any evidence that I can explain away."

"Okay, Scully.  I'm right behind you."

They walked back through the trees until they came to the landing site.
 There was a huge ring of scorched soil covered in a layer of ash in the
center of the clearing, and the trees ringing the open area looked broken and
battered, with limbs missing from the sides of the trees which faced them.

"Scully, check out the burn marks, roughly in the shape of the spaceship we
may or may not have seen.  Call me crazy, but I might be tempted to call this
evidence if I didn't know any better."

"You're a funny man, Mulder, but that burning could have been caused by
anything.  A bonfire, for example".

Mulder outright guffawed.  "A bonfire?  Scully, this burn mark has to be 100
feet in diameter. That's one hell of a bonfire!"

Scully smiled patiently.  "Yes, Mulder, and I believe, if you look at your
calendar, you'll see that it's Guy Fawkes Day."

Mulder looked positively stumped.

"Guy Fawkes was an Englishman who attempted to blow up the Houses of
Parliament in 1605. November 5th is Guy Fawkes Day, a popular time for
building bonfires in which to burn grotesque recreations of him in effigy.
 Scully smiled, proud of her theory.  "Rather a coincidence for it to be
anything else, don't you think?"

Mulder stared at her.  "Guy Fawkes Day?  Scully, this is Wisconsin.  Who the
hell celebrates Guy Fawkes Day in Wisconsin?  Talk about jumping to wild
conclusions..."

"Evidence, Mulder.  When you show me hard evidence, I'll believe something
else.  Until then, I stick with my Guy Fawkes theory."  Scully glanced around
the circle, noticing something shiny caught in the light of her flashlight.
 "Wait a minute, what's this?"

She walked over to the shiny object and studied it closely, reaching into her
pocket for her gloves.

"Mulder," she shouted.  "Come take a look at this."

Mulder crouched down next to her, the light from his flashlight mingling with
hers.

"I can't tell what it is.  It looks a little melted and scorched.  It looks
like some strange other-worldly piece of metal."

Scully picked it up with her gloved hand and placed it into an evidence
envelope.  "Let's take it to Agent Pendrell.  If anybody can figure out what
it is, he can.  Let's go, Mulder, it's freezing out here."

They walked back through the forest to their car.

XXXXXX

Agent Pendrell put on his overcoat and turned off the light in his
laboratory.  Another interesting day at the FBI, he thought to himself.
 Agent Pendrell loved his job.  Sent here from his home to study the people
of this world,  he had become quite fond of them.  Sometimes, he almost
wished he were one of them himself.  Humans were so open, so curious.  It
must be nice - comforting, really, to have new things to discover, to learn.
 Sometimes it felt a little boring to know everything there was to know about
everything.

Since his arrival, it had been his job to make sure the human race didn't
learn too much too quickly, before they were ready to handle things.  It was
an exhausting job which required reading several hundred newspapers a day,
but it was rewarding and satisfying.  At least all that reading gave him the
opportunity to keep up with 'Dilbert'.  Pendrell loved that little guy.

His job also involved keeping an eye on Agent Mulder.  Talk about curious -
Mulder believed in extra-terrestrial life without question, but Pendrell had
been able to discount his findings when he got too close to the truth.  And,
of course, there was Agent Scully, who could always be counted on to shoot
down Agent Mulder's theories.  God, she was something.  Pendrell was
constantly amazed by her, by her ability to remain skeptical no matter what.
 He admired her strong sense of denial.  She would be majorly miffed if she
knew that Mulder was right 99% of the time.

Pendrell's cell phone rang, making him realize that he was staring off into
space, frozen in his shoes.  This always happened to him when he thought
about Agent Scully.  He had learned to make a concerted effort not to think
about her when he was in a public place.  A kindhearted stranger had once
called an ambulance for him, thinking he'd lapsed into a coma while standing
on the street.  He removed the phone from the pocket of his overcoat.

"Pendrell," he said into the phone.

"Agent Pendrell?   It's Agent Scully.  I'm sorry to call you at such a late
hour.  I hope I didn't wake you."

Pendrell nearly dropped the phone.

"No, Agent Scully, I was actually just leaving the lab, I was working late,
I'm just...on my way home now."  God, was he giving her too much information?
 Why did she always make him so uncomfortable?

"Good, Pendrell," Scully's bell-like voice tinkled in his ear.  "Listen,
we've found something that we'd like you to take a look at.  We're flying
back to D.C. from Wisconsin tonight, and we'd like to have you start on it
first thing in the morning."

Pendrell's heart beat a little faster.  A job for Agent Scully?  He was
exuberant.  No problem, missy!

"No problem, mis... Agent Scully," Pendrell slapped his hand to his forehead.
 "What time will you be here?"

"How about if we meet you at the lab at 8:00?  We'll have a metal object and
a soil sample for you to examine."

"I'll be here!" Pendrell almost shouted.  "I look forward to it!"

"Thanks, Pendrell.  See you tomorrow."  Scully disconnected.

Pendrell turned his phone off and put it back in his pocket.  He was a happy,
happy man.

XXXXXX

Pendrell's Lab
11:00 a.m.

Pendrell sat at his table, gazing studiously into his microscope.  He wasn't
looking at anything in particular, but he was pretty sure that this pose made
him look interesting, and he wanted to look interesting when Agent Scully
came in.

His examination of the items brought to him was complete.  Upon first viewing
of  the metal object, his blood had run cold.  Mulder had really found
something this time.  The object was a utility belt buckle commonly worn by
Pendrellians, in this case most probably one of a group of sociologists sent
to tape episodes of "Third Rock From the Sun", a real crowd-pleaser back
home.  They must have actually been here, studying local customs and looking
for a spot with good t.v. reception when Mulder and Scully happened upon
them.

After his initial examination of the twisted metal object, Pendrell had
removed his own belt buckle, hiding it away in his desk drawer.  It had been
dangerous to wear the thing at all, and he probably would have gotten into
trouble if his superiors had ever found out he was wearing it, but it
reminded him of home and of his mother, who had given him the buckle on his
fifth birthday, the year he had graduated from the University with an
advanced degree in Human Molecular Biology with a minor in Theatre Arts.  His
mother had been so proud.

The door opened and Mulder and Scully walked in.  Mulder looked expectant and
excited by the possibility that he had finally found some real, hard evidence
of the existence of extra-terrestrials.  Pendrell felt a little sorry for
him.  It was getting harder and harder to lie to him, to dash his hopes,
destroy his dreams.  He hated being mean.  It wasn't in the synthetic genetic
makeup given to him before his arrival here.

"So," Mulder began, almost afraid to ask.  "Agent Pendrell, what did you
find?  The metal object wasn't identifiable, was it?  It was some kind of
strange metallic substance never before seen on this planet, right?"

Pendrell looked at Mulder.  This was really sad.   He wouldn't completely lie
to him, but he couldn't tell him the whole truth, either.

"Actually, Agent Mulder, it's just a belt buckle.  It's pretty melted from
the fire, but I managed to clean it up enough to identify it.  Take a look."

Mulder examined the buckle.  Pendrell could see his mind working.  Literally.

"Scully," Mulder's eyes lit up.  "Doesn't this look like the buckle on the
alien's utility belt?  Maybe when you kicked him it fell off..."

"Alleged alien, Mulder."  Scully felt a pang of regret when she looked into
Mulder's eyes, which were practically begging for her to agree.

She looked more closely at the buckle, then back at Mulder.

"I'm just not sure, Mulder," she said gently.  "I didn't really pay that much
attention.  I suppose it could be."

Scully looked over at Pendrell.

"Agent Pendrell, this part in the center, it looks like a design of some
sort.  What is it exactly?"

Pendrell blanched.  He knew Agent Scully was good, but he thought the buckle
was too mangled and melted for the symbol to be recognizable.

"I don't know, Agent Scully," he lied.  God, he hated lying to her.  "It's
too mangled and melted to be recognizable."

"No," she said.  "Wait a minute, it looks like... it looks like a... it is!
 It's a little puppy!"

Mulder frowned.  "A little puppy?  What kind of an alien wears a belt buckle
with a little puppy on it?  Boy, this is really disheartening.  A puppy."

Mulder pulled a magnifying glass out of Pendrell's drawer, using it to take a
closer look.

"What are these lines on the puppy's head?" Mulder pointed.  "Are these
antenna?"

Pendrell winced.

"Sorry, Mulder,"  Scully said, patting Mulder on the arm when he sighed,
apparently resigned to the puppy theory.  She really was sorry for him.

Mulder still had hope.  "Agent Pendrell, what about the soil sample?"

"Sorry, Agent Mulder, but there's really nothing unusual about this soil
sample."  Pendrell sighed. "It's scorched, yes, but as far as I can tell, it
was caused by nothing but regular old fire.  I have a little theory if you'd
like to hear it.  You collected this sample last night, right?"

Mulder nodded.  "That's right. Why do you ask?"

"Well," Pendrell crossed his arms and looked serious.  "You know, yesterday
was Guy Fawkes Day and the tradition on that day is to build a really big
bonfire and chuck...."

Mulder groaned.  Scully smiled sweetly at Pendrell, which caused him to break
out in a sweat.

"Did I say something wrong?" Pendrell stuttered.

"No, Pendrell, not at all," Scully smiled.  "Thanks for your help.  We really
appreciate it."

Pendrell stood to escort them from the lab.

"No problem, Agent Scully, the pleasure was all mine."  Pendrell was beaming.
 "If there's ever anything else I can do for you, please call anytime.
 Really!"

The lab door closed and Pendrell sank onto his stool.  That was a little too
close for comfort.  He was going to have to be more careful in the future.

XXXXXX

Mulder and Scully left the lab and walked towards the elevator to return to
their basement office. Scully glanced up at Mulder with a sad smile.

"Sorry, Mulder, I know you wanted to believe that this was the real thing,
but without any evidence to back it up..."

Mulder smiled at her.  "It's okay, Scully.  I know what we saw, even if you
refuse to admit it to yourself.  I still admire your ability to stay
skeptical beyond the bounds of all that is reasonable."

They stopped at the end of the corridor, Mulder pushing the button for the
elevator.

"There is one thing that kind of bothers me, though."  Mulder looked puzzled.
 "When I opened the door to Pendrell's desk to get the magnifying glass, I
found this."

He handed Scully a belt buckle which contained an etching of a puppy - an
etching identical to the one on the buckle they had recovered from the
landing site.

"I've seen Pendrell wearing this before, Scully.  He's such a kindhearted
guy, I just assumed he liked puppies, but what do we really know about him,
anyway?  Where did he come from?  Who *is* Agent Pendrell, Scully?"

"What are you saying, Mulder?  You think Agent Pendrell is an alien?"

Mulder thought seriously for a moment, then smiled, shaking his head.

"Yeah, right!"  Mulder said.  They both began to laugh as they stepped into
the elevator. "What the heck was I thinking?"

"You almost had me going for a minute there, Mulder!  Agent Pendrell - an
alien!"

The elevator door closed on the sound of their laughter.


THE END