I hope you enjoy this. I would really appreciate feedback. You can e- mail me at YRLD43A@PRODIGY.COM Thanks to everyone who e-mailed me encouragement. Summary: Sequel, The reality and heartbreak of Pendrell's death. Spoilers: Tempus Fugit and Max Classification : SA Disclaimer: The characters and situations of the television program "The X-Files" are the creations and property of Chris Carter, Fox Broadcasting, and Ten Thirteen Productions, and have been used without permission. No copyright infringements are intended. This work is not to be forwarded or distributed to any newsgroup, FTP, or WWW site without the permission of the author. I do give permission for it to be put on atxc. ************************* Pendrell's Luck II By Patty Hayes March 23, 1997 ************************* Olivia tried for hours to reach Brian. Where was he? She'd reached her mother's home safely and he made her promise she'd call. Well, the message on the answering machine would have to do. She trusted him, he wouldn't be stepping out on her. She'll try again in the morning. His breathing was raspy, the bullet having punctured the lung. Blood filled the lung and he had too much trouble breathing. He hurt, God it hurt. Every pot hole the ambulance hit made it hurt that much more. He moaned silently. Pendrell closed his eyes. He'd be all right. She promised. She said he'd be fine. They were going to celebrate her birthday. He was going to be married. He had a life ahead of him. She promised. She promised. A vision crossed his mind, two visions. Scully's face above his, a look a concern across her face. And Olivia, a smile and a look of such love it made his heart ache. Then he was gone. One word escaped his lips. "Olivia." He never felt her hand squeeze his. Olivia still had not heard from Brian. She tried again the next morning, this time a stranger answered his phone. "Who is this?" "Who is calling please?" "This is Olivia Rosselini, I'm looking for Brian Pendrell." She answered brusquely. A cold chill running down her spine. Something was wrong, she knew it. Her face went flush white, then a blush of red crept up and she went hot. "Are you a relative?" "Oh God, just tell me what's going on! Where is he?" She shouted. "Ma'am, ..." "Look, I'm Agent Olivia Rosselini with the Federal Bureau, who is this?" Olivia demanded. Someone else answered. Assistant Director Walter Skinner. "Olivia? " Her heart sank. Something terrible had happened. She couldn't breath. "Is he dead?" The question took him by surprise. He'd heard the rumors of the two, but left well enough alone, they'd been very discrete. He spoke softly. "Yes." She felt it coming up. Olivia couldn't breath, she couldn't think. The pancakes she'd had for breakfast where making their way back to the surface. She dropped the phone and ran to the bathroom. **** Olivia caught the first flight back. Alone. She asked her mother and family not to come. She couldn't take having to keep up the facade for them. She wanted to see him just one more time. One more second with him, that's all she wanted. To tell him she loved him. There wasn't any time. They didn't have any time. It wasn't fair. The tears fell continuously. At first, the tears wouldn't come. She knew he was gone because of the hole in her heart but she thought that if she didn't believe it, it wouldn't be true. But on the flight back, it finally hit her and she started crying and hadn't stopped. Silent tears. She went straight to his apartment. They'd spent so much time there, she felt it was hers too. They were going to move in there together. The bags she dropped sat just inside the door. She stood there, in the doorway, for a long time. Just looking at the room. Every corner was a memory. They had such a short time together. Six months. The kitchen, the first time she'd cooked for him. What a disaster that was. She was a research scientist, not a cook. She smiled as she closed her eyes and envisioned him. The couch where they spent a number of nights just curled up with each other. He was so attentive, so loving, he wanted her close at all times. The lamp she'd bought him to replace a ragged torn shade, part of a bachelor's apartment. He accused her of trying to domesticate him. Then the bedroom. She couldn't go in. She just stared at the doorway, seeing the dresser and a corner of the bed. Tears falling faster now. Olivia fell to her knees and put her face in her hands, then slumped to the floor and sat with her knees pulled up to her chest, softly crying, rocking. "Oh, Baby. Why you? We never had a chance." ***** The funeral was three days later. Olivia didn't remember the three days going by. She met with Brian's mother two days before. She was a godsend to Olivia. Apparently, Pendrell had told his mother all about her, she liked Olivia. Mrs. Pendrell kept Olivia nearby, she knew how hard it was for her. The loss of her son was devastating to her as well, the two comforted each other. He didn't have much family, but all he had, was there. It seemed more than half the Bureau attended as well. Olivia stood outside the door, taking deep breaths before going in to view her fiancee'. She had hold of the door frame and her legs refused to move. She didn't want to make a scene, she didn't want to disgrace Brian by doing so. Suddenly she felt a hand on her back and looked up into Mulder's dark eyes. "Olivia?" She couldn't speak, she just nodded. "Do you want me to go in with you?" His voice was quiet and gentle. "Please?" She asked. He nodded and she let go of the door frame. Olivia walked down the aisle of the church that she would've walked down in her wedding gown. The room was spinning around her. Her focus was on the coffin, she saw nothing else, it became a single scene in a black hole. She felt Mulder's hands on the small of her back and on her left arm. He wasn't pushing, just guiding. The coffin came closer and closer as if it were moving instead of her. Then she was there, looking at him. Her knees buckled under her and she felt Mulder's strong arms holding her up. No one else noticed. Her hand went to her mouth as she fell back against Mulder and she stifled a gasp. He looked so peaceful, so normal. He looked whole, he shouldn't look like that, she thought. He should look broken or something. So that she would know he was really dead. Her face had a puzzled look and a sob escaped as her hand went to his face and stroked his cheek. "Oh, God. Brian." Mulder heard her sniff and then another quiet sob and felt her tremble. She was stronger now and loosened his grip on her. Pendrell was a good guy, he didn't deserve this and even though a tear didn't fall he felt sorry, he felt sad. Again, for what seemed like the hundredth time, he asked himself, 'How many have to die?' Olivia shook herself from Mulder and turned half toward him, not looking up. "I'm fine now, Agent Mulder. Thanks." "I'm sorry, Olivia." He said. She nodded in reply and he turned to find Scully. ***** Scully sat in her car, hesitating. To go in would have to accept the fact that he was gone and that she couldn't save him. She realized again, that she didn't even know his first name. She had been aware of the fact that he admired her. Maybe admire was a mild term, she couldn't bring herself to think of it as a crush or a strong like or even love. He was a nice guy, he didn't deserve this. That's all Scully kept thinking. No one deserved it. She didn't want to face his family. And of all things, she'd learned of his pending engagement just yesterday. Mulder seemed to know, as did Skinner. Why was she the last to know these things? Looking out the window, Scully spotted Mulder standing under the canopy eyeing the crowds as if looking for her. She sighed deeply and got out of the car. Mulder waved at her when he saw her and she nodded, walking in his direction. "Hi." Mulder said as she neared him. "Hi Mulder, have you been here long?" "About a half an hour, I guess. What kept you?" He asked. She looked down, then into the groups of people milling around. Avoiding the question. Finally she shook her head. "Let's go in." He took her arm and escorted her into the church. The service would start soon and they walked to the casket quickly. Scully paused and looked at Pendrell. She noticed the freckles on his face and hands. Did he really have that many? She was embarrassed at how little she really knew of him. From the corner of her eye, she could see two women in black sitting in the front pew near the casket. An older woman and a young one. Holding hands, stone faced. She closed her eyes and moved to the two. Leaning down, Scully whispered and put out her hand. "I'm sorry for your loss. He was a good man." Mrs. Pendrell shook her hand and nodded. Then Scully passed to Olivia. "I'm sorry, Olivia." This time her voice broke as she looked into Olivia swollen red eyes. "Thank you." She smiled slightly. Mulder and Scully sat a couple of pews behind them and Scully thought about Pendrell and Olivia. Part of her was sad that she didn't know Pendrell as well as Olivia did. What were his hopes and dreams? What kind of life where they getting ready to share? Would they have had little red headed children, or with Olivia's heritage, would they be dark haired? A brief thought crossed her mind that these two didn't belong together. They were mismatched, they didn't 'fit'. Then Scully closed her eyes and shook her head. No, that wasn't right, it wasn't fair to them. They loved each other. That's all that mattered. Scully didn't know why, but she and Mulder went to Mrs. Pendrell's after the funeral. There were scores of people from the Bureau. Part of her was amazed at how many people knew and respected Agent Pendrell. She stood silent and listened to the stories being told about him. She even had to smile at some of them. She began to feel sad that she hadn't taken the time to get to know him. Olivia sat in a corner, next to the window facing the garden. She spent a lot of time looking out into the garden. Scully studied her. She didn't even know Olivia had worked for the Bureau. It shamed her. Mulder came up behind her and handed her a small plate of food. "What are you thinking about?" He asked. "I was just thinking how little we know about people who help us. You know Pendrell helped me present the results of our vaccination testing to the board. Never questioned the validity, never worried about his reputation. He assisted us without question and trusted us to do the right thing." She spoke quietly. "I know, Scully. It shouldn't have happened. He shouldn't be dead. " "I couldn't save him, Mulder." "You tried, you did your best. It wasn't your fault." He whispered to her. "Is that what I tell his mother? Olivia? Did you know about Olivia? Why didn't you say something?" She turned to him for the first time during that conversation. He shrugged and shook his head slightly. Leaning down to speak close to her he said, "It was their life." Just then Mrs. Pendrell walked up to them. "Agent Scully, Agent Mulder. I wanted to thank you for coming and to thank you for meaning so much to my son. He spoke often and highly of you both. Especially you, Agent Scully. He admired you very much." She placed a hand on Scully's shoulder. Scully nodded, not quite knowing how to respond. Thank goodness Mulder spoke up. "Your son was very valuable to our work, Mrs. Pendrell. He was a good man and a good friend, he'll be greatly missed." "Yes, thank you." She looked to Scully and smiled. "Well, I need to see to the other quests. Again, thank you for coming." They watched her walk away. Scully turned to Mulder. "Look, Mulder, there's something I need to do. I won't be long. Would you wait here?" He searched her eyes, he knew what she was going to do. "Are you sure about this, Scully?" He asked. She nodded. "I need to do this." He returned the nod and gently touched her arm. "I'll be right here. " Mulder watched as she headed for Olivia. Scully sat down next to Olivia and waited to be acknowledged. "Hello, Agent Scully. Thank you for coming." Olivia didn't know what to say to her. She knew that Brian Pendrell would always have feelings for this woman. There wasn't anything she could do about it. Sometimes, it made her feel that she was second in his life. A hand me down. Accepted only because he couldn't have the best. And that angered her. She felt a resentment toward Scully. But she realized that it wasn't fair. Scully didn't do anything to deserve that. It wasn't her fault that she couldn't return the same feelings Pendrell had for her. Olivia knew that she was loved by Brian. She was secure in that thought. "Olivia, I was with him when he died. His last word was your name." Scully said softly as she took the girl's hand. Olivia turned sharply, a surprised look on her face. "Really?" "Yes. He loved you very much. I envy you, Olivia. He was a man with a lot of love to give and I'm glad he found someone to share that with." "He was thinking of me." She didn't know why she was surprised by this, but a whole new feeling came forward. Part of her resented the fact that Scully was with him when he died. Now she was sort of glad. A feeling of pride mixed with the sadness. Scully nodded. "Yes. He'll be with you always. Death isn't the end, Olivia. It's not to be feared, it's another step in our existence. When the time comes, he'll be waiting for you." Olivia's mouth hung open. She nodded, wanting desperately to believe. "Yes, thank you. I can't tell you how much that means to me. Thanks." Scully stood and walked the few steps to the waiting Mulder. "I'm ready, Mulder, can we go somewhere and get some coffee? I need some air." "Sure, Scully." He took her hand and they left the house. As Mulder opened the car door and Scully sat down, he stooped down next to her. "That was a nice thing you said to Olivia." "It's something I have to believe, Mulder." Knowing her situation as well, he nodded. They both had to believe it. THE END