Overboard... [aka "Rooms: The Basement Office"] By Fiona Bland FBland@Lonet.ca or fiona_bland@hotmail.com Disclaimers: Mulder, Scully and Pendrell all belong to Chris Carter, Ten Thirteen Productions and Fox. Classification/Rating: Humour! Pure unadulterated mind candy... Though there are some scenes that some readers may find offensive or "un-Mulder-Scully-like". Too bad... I wrote it to be funny, those who disagree... email me... I'll respond to it... H, S, V (maybe) - Rated R for sexual comments. Summary: Mulder and Scully go overboard in the basement... Author's Notes: Okay, I wrote this over a half hour... I blame Sheryl Martin for her fanfic "Christmas Presents," that gave me the idea for this. Flames, comments or plain talk can be forwarded to FBland@Lonet.ca Bonus: I'm trying to keep the disclaimers short but I just wanted to mention to those who don't know yet, there's a fan fiction writing contest being held by Western's X-Files Fan Club, deadline is January 26, 1997 at midnight. Those interested can drop me a note and I'll send you off the rules and regs. It's a cheep plug, but how else are you going to find out? * * * * * * * * * * * * * * THE BASEMENT OF FBI HEADQUARTERS DECEMBER 1996 "Mulder, why can't you hang up some Christmas decorations?" Scully asked as she looked around the office. "Scully, I did. See." He pointed to his calendar where the model was dressed out in holly and mistletoe. "That doesn't count. I meant real decorations, like garland, tinsel and a miniature fake Christmas tree." Scully sighed as she knew it was a losing battle with Mulder and the holidays. "Fine." Mulder couldn't believe that he was giving in with out much of a battle but then again Scully had been nagging him since the day after Thanksgiving. "Great." Scully saved the document she was working on and shut down her lap top. "Just promise me one thing." "Sure, what?" Scully asked as she grabbed her purse and coat. "Don't go overboard." Scully laughed as Mulder shot her a dirty look. "Oh, you were serious." She gave him an evil grin. "Mulder, I, Dana Katherine Scully promise you that I won't go overboard." "Good." With that Scully raced out of the office, up the stairs and to the nearest mall... * * * * * * * Mulder walked back in his office after lunch and stopped dead in his tracks. "Scully?" "Yeah?" She replied as she climbed off the mini-ladder she was standing on. "What did you do to my office?" He was flabbergasted. "This is still me office right?" Mulder stepped back into the hall and checked the name on the oak door. "Mulder, yes this is still your office." She chuckled. "Well it sure doesn't look like my office." He wandered around the office looking at all that she had done. "What happened to my posters, photos and newspaper clippings that used to be here?" He pointed to the bulletin board. "They're over there in the filing cabinet under "c"--" "C" for what?" Mulder interrupted. "What do you think?" "Collectible?" Mulder smiled. "Try again?" "Classics?" "Nope." "Crap?" Scully shook her head no. "Okay I give in, what is it classified under?" "I'll give you a hint. What do I think they are?" "Counterfeit?" "How ever did you guess?" She laughed as she hung more tinsel around the office. "Mulder will you hold up this end while I climb up on the ladder and tape it to the wall?" Mulder's mouth opened ready to tell her another short joke be he decided against it considering she had a long pair of scissors and electrical tape in her hand. "Just tell me how high." * * * * * * * Agent Danny Pendrell raced down the stairs from his lab to the basement. "Man, Mulder's gonna kill me if this is late again." He muttered as he flew down the last two flights of stairs. Pendrell smiled as he carefully collected himself before opened the Mulder's basement office door. * * * * * * * "Higher Mulder." Scully ordered. "Scully, this is as high as I can go." Mulder complained. "Mulder, you've done this before, just a little higher." Mulder was getting sick of Scully's nagging. "Scully, there are some limits to how high I can go." "Don't you dare mention your height advantages again." Scully sighed. "Besides, I know you'd do this for anyone from the secretarial pool." * * * * * * * Pendrell gasped. He shook his head no. "Or are they?" He asked himself. * * * * * * * "Mulder for once, can't you get it right." "Scully, quite your nagging." "Mulder, get on your desk, it'll be easier that way..." * * * * * * * Pendrell swallowed hard before rising his hand to knock on the door. * * * * * * * "Mulder!" "Scully!" A long pause. "Was that so hard...?" Scully said out of breath. "Now jump down from my desk, there's still more to be done?" "What?" "You didn't think I was finished yet? Mulder, we're only just getting warmed up." Scully laughed. "Man what have I gotten myself into?" He mumbled. "It's easier if you're not wearing so much clothing, loose the tie and jacket." * * * * * * * Pendrell thought as he felt his cheeks glow red. * * * * * * * "See, I told you it's easier when you don't have your tie getting in the way." Scully chuckled. "Yeah you're right." "Pardon me? What did you just say?" "I said that you were right." Mulder whispered. "I thought so. Quick right down the date and time." "Why?" "Mulder, this is the first time in four years that you have admitted that I was right without being nagged before hand." Scully teased. Mulder mocked her as he turned away from her to see where his tie had landed. * * * * * * * Pendrell began to choke as he eavesdropped on Mulder and Scully's conversation. * * * * * * * "Scully, did you hear something?" Mulder asked as he pointed toward the door. "No." Scully climbed back on the ladder. "Who else is down here other then us?" "Right." Mulder rubbed his eyes. "Want some coffee?" "Sure, sugar and double cream." Mulder opened the door to as surprised Pendrell. "Agent Pendrell." "Uh hi." He stared at the floor, fearing to look up and see into the office. "Here's the report you wanted." Pendrell handed Mulder the report and turned to leave without making eye contact. "Thanks Agent Pendrell." Mulder smiled as he realized how embarrassed Pendrell must feel. "Would you like to help?" Danny swallowed hard. "No thanks, I have to get back upstairs. Say hello to Agent Scully for me." "She's right here." Mulder pointed over his shoulder. "Who's there, Mulder?" Scully called from inside the office. "Agent Pendrell." Mulder replied. "He says hi." Scully appeared from behind the door. "Hi Danny, what's up?" Pendrell blushed. "I uh, just wanted to drop this report off to Agent Mulder. Well I've got to be going. Merry Christmas." He practically ran down the hall towards the elevators. "What was that all about?" Scully asked as she returned to what she was doing. "I don't know." Mulder sighed as he looked at the office. "Do you think we went overboard?" He tossed the file onto the nearest chair. Scully laughed. "No. We went overboard on Hallowe'en. I don't think there's a word to describe what we did!" "Yeah, I guess putting in the ceiling high real Christmas tree was a little outrageous." Mulder grinned as he looked at the eight foot pine tree. "No, it wasn't outrageous putting up the tree, it was getting it passed security that was unbelievable." Both agents looked at each other before bursting out laughing as the looked at what they had done to the office. The entire office was lit up be more strands of blinking coloured lights, garland, tinsel, mistletoe and pictures of various Christmas characters then in any major mall. There was even a glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling above the tree. Scully had a large one to represent the Star of David, Mulder had taken all the other ones and put them in the shape of a flying saucer. Mulder constructed a small fire place using old boxes while Scully made two stockings out of paper and tape. One said "Spooky" and the other said "Spooky's Partner," hung on the ends of the fireplace. On one side of the top of the fireplace, was the Nativity scene with a plastic alien as Baby Jesus and one the other side was an electrical Menorah with the eight candles. "Scully, if it was this much fun to do this for Christmas, I can't wait till the 4th of July." Mulder grinned as he looked at what they had done to his normally cluttered office. "Mulder, I can't wait until St. Patrick's Day!" Scully giggled as she grabbed her coat and purse to leave. "Come on, Chinese take out, my treat." "So in March we get to put up pictures of little green men?" Mulder asked as he grabbed his coat and tie. "Not aliens, leprechauns." Scully held the door for his partner. "What's the difference?" * * * * * * * * * * * * * * The End -- 12/21/96 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * So what did you think? I guess after reading this again, those you know about my "Rooms" series could add it to the list, call it "Rooms: The Basement Office."