It's Only Love - (Pendrell) by Algernon 8:50 PM Sci-Crime Lab, J. Edgar Hoover Building He sat in his soft, swiveling chair. It was the kind of material that always made him itch. His microscope sat on the lab table in front of him. Scully had sent him some samples she had collected earlier from the autopsy. It had been his first priority. , he thought with a sigh. A soft smile crossed his face. He was so shy around her. He felt like such a doof. She had only ever seen the geeky, conservative side of him. He felt like going totally insane and doing back-flips down the hallway, or coming to work in nothing but socks, his lab coat, and a pair of flowered boxers, or taking his guitar and playing a concert on top of the J. Edgar Hoover building. Would she like that? Or would she just think that he was a freak. Maybe freak was a little strong of a word considering the types of cases that she dealt with. He looked at his watch. Was it really 9PM already? Time flies, its true. He had finished Scully's work hours ago. He was going to head home, and stop by his favourite 24 hour Indian Take-out on the way. His mouth watered for his favorite dish, Teriyaki tofu with brown rice. He had worked up the courage a few weeks ago to actually try ‘Phool gobi aur aloo ki bhaji', which much to his surprise and disappointment, was just cauliflower and potatoes. He had always disliked meat as a child, but when he hit his teen years, he had totally refused to eat it, sending his conservative parents through the roof. He smiled, remembering the expression on his father's face when he told him that he wasn't going to eat meat anymore. "Daniel Julian Pendrell!"his father had really screamed, and he was sure that the neighbours could hear through the thin apartment walls. " Vegetarian is for damn hippies! You'll do what you are told! I wont have my son being a freak!" At that point, , his twin sister Daphne had very bravely pointed out that vegetarianism was a very healthy and generally accepted way of living. Their father had said nothing, but walked out of the room quietly furious, but defeated. Pendrell had given his sister a tight smile while inwardly sighing. People always responded to Daphne like that, but he couldn't complain, because she used it in his favour. he told himself. . * * * * * * * * * 7:15 AM Pendrell's Apartment Pendrell slapped the snooze button of the alarm clock. At least it was Friday. He lay there, looking at the ceiling, trying to remember what he had to do today. Then, he remembered Scully. She was bound to come by to collect the results today. It was nearly enough to make him get out of bed. Nearly. He looked at his guitar, propped up against the far wall of his bedroom. His old, acoustic guitar. He knew that he could still play it, and play it well. A smile crossed his face. He would walk right down to her, into that basement of hers, the door would be open a crack, he would strum a soft tune, sing a gentle love ballad, the door would open, and . . . . . there would stand Mulder, grinning. He'd say that Scully was down doing another autopsy, but he could take a message and give it to her when she came back. Pendrell could feel his ears flushing red, even though he'd only been daydreaming. Not that he would ever work up the courage to play for her anyway. He dragged himself out of bed. He was wearing his favourite pair of boxer shorts, the ones that had 60's-looking flowers on. He took them off and jumped into the shower. * * * * * * * 7:25 AM Pendrell buttoned up his shirt all the way, then unbuttoned the top button, then the second. He laced up his solid white running shoes, and hoped like hell his boss didn't notice that he wasn't wearing those god-awful dressy shoes that the FBI "recommended" its employees wear. He picked up his keys and headed for the door. He stopped when he saw his guitar. He walked over and picked it up, then slowly put it back in its case. He started for the door once more, turned quickly, picked up the case, and scurried to his van. * * * * * * * * * * * * * 7:30 AM Pendrell nearly ran down the stairs of his apartment complex. Well, it wasn't really his apartment complex, he just lived in the attic above all the normal apartments. He had chosen it for two reasons: a) it was slightly cheaper, and b) the landlord was so surprised that anyone would actually want to live up there, that he let Pendrell decorate it any way he wanted to. And so Pendrell had fixed it up, and made it home. It was a little smaller than the regular apartments, but he only needed space for one person, and everything he needed on a regular basis he put in his van anyway. He loved his van. He had bought it when he was 17, after working the entire summer to raise money for it. He had looked far and wide for a decent VW that still had a clean motor. He had settled for an old hippie's van that he bought very cheaply and fixed up. He had the motor seen to, and took all the rust off, changed the tired red velour carpeting to a shag royal blue one. He had wanted to paint it with flowers on the outside, but he didn't have any money left, so he waited until the next summer when he did. By that time, he was looking at the FBI as a place to work, and his then prospective employers told him to tone his appearance down a step, so he decided to just paint it a forest green instead. He had kept the van, though. It was vintage, a ‘67 with smooth top. He had a medium-sized silver peace sign hanging from the rear-view mirror. In the back he had a large blanket that had the scene from the album cover of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Heart's Club Band. He had used it on all those cold nights when he had to study for some test at Quantico and his dorm roommate had either been bugging him, or he had just really needed some peace and time to think. All these memories, his life, was stored in this van as he jumped into it before he could change his mind. * * * * * * * * * 7:45 He hadn't even arrived at the J. Edgar Hoover Building, and already he was having second thoughts. He glanced at the case next to him. He could swear it was laughing at him. He had worked at the FBI for so long now that it had begun to eat away at his individuality. He pulled into his space of the parking lot, and was almost embarrassed when he saw that the only other car in the lot was a sleek, new pale-blue Taurus. Yet he couldn't afford a new car, ans he was still attached to his van, even if people did stare at it. It was still early, maybe he could just put it under his lab table, and anyone who asks, he could tell them that he had to take it to get it fixed. With this new-found confidence, he lifted the case out of the van, and walked happily to his lab. * * * * * * * * * * * * 12:17 The Lab Pendrell thought desperately. He had left the lab only for a minute. Maybe not even that long. His fellow agent Collin Indemour had noticed the case early that morning. Colin had worked with Pendrell for two years now, and Pendrell couldn't think of a single time when Colin hadn't been doing something. He was always on the go. He was either working or running around and having a good time. He never stopped, and he never slowed down. Then again, Pendrell wasn't really surprised. With the amount of coffee that Colin drank, he shouldn't sleep until the apocalypse. Pendrell had done the math. Colin was also slightly arrogant and had been bugging Pendrell to let him look at the guitar, claiming to be the "guitar god" and could fix anything that was wrong with it. That was, he did until Sarah had told him to "leave the poor kid alone". Agent Sarah Vince was 26 years old, an albino, exactly 1 inch shorter than Pendrell, and after her first day she wore high heels to ensure that she was just the slightest bit taller than him. She always teased Pendrell about being short, even though he was a year older, and truly taller. After her first few weeks at the FBI, she had relaxed, and stopped wearing the stuffy, rigid clothes that were characteristic of the ‘career woman', and wore bellbottoms, platforms, and shirts that said ‘Save the Whales' and ‘Peace on Earth'. Every casual day, she wore a pair of flared jeans on which she has painted flowers and peace signs. Pendrell had asked her if he could borrow them, and told her that she was the ultimate Witchy Woman. She had laughed, and for the rest of the day, he had been plagued by the song in his mind. She made sure that she stayed well within the dress code, so that nobody could complain. No one complained, but everyone thought that she was strange, and stayed away from her, or outcast her, and stayed away from her because she was pale and had ruby coloured eyes, and she didn't try to hide it by being like everyone else. Pendrell, on the other hand, saw that she had a kind heart, was very patient with the people that disliked her, and they became friends despite her calling him Shorty. But she didn't like Colin (conceited jerk, she had once called him), and Pendrell was sure that the feeling was mutual, although for different reasons. That's why, when he went back to the lab to find that Colin had his guitar, out, and Sarah had done nothing to stop him, Pendrell was more than just a little surprised. In fact, a look of pure shock was on his face a he stared at Colin, who was grinning mischievously. "There is absolutely nothing wrong with this guitar. I've even tuned it, so do play for was." Pendrell looked desperately at Sarah, but all she did was smile softly, say, "Come on, Shorty, we want to hear you play." He was terrified as he shook his head ‘no', until he saw the looks on their faces. He gave a sigh of defeat, and walked over to sit in the chair by Colin. Then, as a last effort, he said, "I'm really not very good,". . Sarah retorted, "Yeah, and everyone thought the Beatles weren't going to last." Pendrell grinned at the thought of himself in a Beatles wig. He quickly sobered as Colin held his guitar out to him, realizing that he would actually have to play for them. He took the guitar, and strummed a few chords, trying to show off, but it wasn't working. "What do you want me to play?" it was more of a statement than a question. Maybe he could just pretend not to know the song they suggested. "It's Only Love", Sarah volunteered immediately. thought Pendrell, . And, it reminded him of Agent Scully. Everything did, these days. He took a deep breath, made sure of the tune, and started sing. After a few moments Sarah and Colin joined in: "I get high when I see you go by my oh my When you sigh my mind inside just flies butterflies why am I so shy when I'm beside you? It's only love and that is all why should I feel the way I do? It's only love, and that is all, but its so hard, loving you." None of them heard the door open. They were having too much fun singing, and trying to stay somewhat in tune to notice the petite red-head enter the room. "Pendrell ?!?!?" It took a few seconds for Pendrell to realize what was going on. He felt like he was waking up, from a dream into a nightmare. All his wonderful happiness had chain reacted into an explosion, Scully had walked into the room, and his world had shattered, the test tube exploded. He started scrambling around desperately looking for the pieces of broken glass that were fading fast. "Uh, ... Sc-Scully, ... hello, uh, we were, uh, were just, um..." Scully looked at him, her blue eyes quizzical, looking at Pendrell with the same look that she gave Mulder when he came up with a wild theory, and she couldn't believe what he had just said. But this wasn't Mulder, and she watched with slight amusement as Pendrell 's ears slowly turned bright red. "Pendrell ", Scully said smoothly, "I just wanted to see if you had those results back yet, but if you are busy...." Scully could barely keep from bursting out with laughter as Pendrell stuttered his reply, turning from red to very pale. "Yes, uh, it's right on my desk, right here, uh, here you go, all the information is on the report." Pendrell just wanted her to leave to stop his humiliation. He just wanted to shrink into the floor. "Thanks," Scully said as she walked out of the door, results in hand. * * * * * * * * * 12:32 Pendrell closed his eyes and tried to convince himself that it had all just been a dream. He wasn't aware of the things around him, even though there wasn't much that happened, Colin and Sarah left shortly afterwards, not saying much to Pendrell , or at least he didn't hear if they did. He sat looking at his mind, sheltering in his mind until he had reason to come out. After a while the shock slowly wore off, and he tried to deal with what had happened, even if he did want to, he felt it was inevitable. * * * * * * 7:15 PM Pendrell sat on the floor of the lab, leaning against the desk, thinking. He was still thinking about that afternoon. He had learned something very important. He knew now that Scully didn't love him, could never love him. He had been foolish to think that he had a chance with her, they were so different. But what surprised him most is that he wasn't really disappointed, even when he tried. He had seen the look on her face, and his love, his crush, had faded instantly. She had seen the real him, and she had disapproved. Despite all the extra he'd given her....... not that any of that mattered now. He heard footsteps coming towards him : someone in high heels. He looked up, ... Sarah. Neither of them spoke as she crouched beside him. Sarah looked at him with a soft concern on her face, mixed with sympathy. "You really love her, don't you?" her voice was soft, and she stroked his hair as though he was a small child. Pendrell truthfully replied, "I thought I did, I *liked* her, but I just don't now. I realized something that I should have known a long time ago." Sarah looked at him thoughtfully, and asked "You going to be alright?" Pendrell smiled a tight smile and said, "Yeah. Thanks for coming." He was beginning to feel a little better already. Sarah stood up, and put her coat on. "Good. Come on, I'll drive you home. Don't forget your guitar." Pendrell stood, and turned to pick up his guitar, but stopped as he caught the Mona Lisa look on Sarah's face. "What is it?", Pendrell asked, intrigued, his mind still in a daze. Sarah gave a distracted half-smile. "I just never realized how strange it is, being taller than you." She took off her shoes and appeared to be concerned at what she had done. Pendrell looked at her troubled ruby eyes, which were roaming the room, it seemed, as if to find an answer that was hidden there. He decided to ask her what was wrong, but he was a little tense, because she was always so confident and happy, and he had never seen her act like this before. His breath caught slightly when she looked up at him, looked him straight in the eyes. All she said was, "Come on, I'll take you home." * * * * * * * * * 7:29 PM Pendrell's VW Mini-Bus They sat outside Pendrell's apartment building for quite some time, just talking about society, and life, dreams, and oblivion. They were mutually intrigued by what they never knew the other thought, what very few people thought at all. As is normal between friends, the conversation turned to their childhoods and the past... Sarah laughed. "So they were really upset with your lack of protein, were they? I can just imagine Daphne breaking up a fight like that, she's a real peacenik, isn't she?" Now it was Pendrell's turn to laugh. "Yeah, she always has been. My dad wanted me to eat a lot, and become part of the NFL, or something like that. He was horrified when I told him I would rather be a drag queen. I had to compromise with him by going into the FBI: he liked it because I would carry a gun, and I liked it because I could stop other people from carrying guns. What about you? You don't seem like the type that would go into the FBI as first choice." Sarah raised her eyebrows. "No, actually, I wanted to be a professional virgin. But there wasn't really a demand for that sort of thing, so I chose the FBI instead." That caught Pendrell totally of guard. He didn't quite know how to reply. "Oh, stop looking like that." Sarah was almost upset. "I was very prudish and I was horrified at the way women were treated simply as sex objects. It seemed that the whole world was based on finding the right person, so that you could sleep with them and die happy. I didn't want that. I realized, though, that it was a natural part of life, but only a part, it isn't everything, and it isn't nothing." Pendrell thought a moment, then said slowly, "I never thought about it like that. Society seems to exploit it, perverting everyone's opinion, whether they want it to be touched or not. I suppose it is a natural thing that we are all inclined to do, if our will doesn't stop us." Sarah nodded, "I really think that people shouldn't be so sex oriented, though. It always leads to corruption, and everything is intertwined, and it ends up in one big mess. It would be better if everyone would just relax, take some time off, be alone with their thoughts for a little while. If they looked at the future, maybe they would care a little more.".... * * * * * * * * * 2:07 AM There was a lull in the conversation, and Pendrell wasn't quite sure if Sarah had fallen asleep. He decided that he better check, so he leaned forward to see if her eyes were closed, which they were. She was still sitting in the driver's seat, the keys were in the ignition, and it was getting colder by the minute. Pendrell reached over, Sarah's arm very carefully, trying to turn the ignition quietly, so that he could turn the heater on and not wake Sarah. It didn't work. She woke up at the first sound of the engine. She smiled shyly at Pendrell, and blinked sleepily. Pendrell looked at her with smiling eyes, and delicately said, "You can lay down in the back, it is softer there, or my apartment is up there, if you don't mind a waterbed." Sarah whispered slowly, "Too cold, too far." She rose sleepily and crept to the back of the van. Pendrell turned the heater on, then followed. She was curled up in a ball near the back of the passenger's seat. Pendrell found the blanket and put it over her, then sat with his back against the driver's seat. She opened her eyes slightly, then with the blanket wrapped around her shoulders, moved to sit next to him. She looked calmly into his eyes, for a few moments, then softly, deeply kissed him on the lips. He closed his eyes until she drew back to look at him, her gentle ruby eyes smiling at him. She curled up with her head on his lap, and he gently stroked her hair until the beautiful red eyes closed with contentment and sleepiness. Pendrell snuggled down, and fell asleep to the sound of Sarah breathing.